


roman holiday

by shirohyasha



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Unreliable Narrator, your honour they're bOTH pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22320784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirohyasha/pseuds/shirohyasha
Summary: Ren tries to convince Masato to spend their first holiday in nearly a decade actually, you know, on holiday.
Relationships: Hijirikawa Mai & Hijirikawa Masato, Hijirikawa Mai & Jinguuji Ren, Hijirikawa Masato/Jinguuji Ren
Comments: 42
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> it's about the yearning

Ren slides into the seat beside Masato before he can talk himself out of it. “Hey. What are you doing after this?”

Masato looks up from his knitting. “Buckle your seatbelt. Do you mean after the tour?”

“Yeah,” Ren says. He buckles his seatbelt, careful not to touch Masato’s thigh where the buckle is. “We’ve got a while off. Thought you might want to go on a trip or something.”

Masato’s lips thin. The others are all on the bus, but none of them appear to be listening or even able to hear them. “My father has asked me to come home.”

“He asked, did he?” Ren mutters. “You sure about that? Surely not for the whole time.”

Masato nods, jerkily. “He asked,” he insists. “I have not seen Mai for nearly a year. Mother is also home for now.” Masato looks at his hands, clutching his knitting needles with white knuckles.

Ren keeps his voice casual. “Okay, well, I’m going away for most of it, so you’re welcome to come with me. Split the cost of a flat or something.” Ren isn’t paying for his accommodation. His family owns the house in Italy. He’s babbling. “Just. If you need an alternative.”

He gets up before Masato can say anything, pretends not to hear his quiet, “Jinguji,” turns to grin at him.

“Course, it’d be nice for me to actually meet Mai at last. You talk about her so much I feel like I know her already. Maybe I can come say hi at your place? Aha, I’m kidding.”

Masato looks at him, considering, and Ren is seized with panic. Everyone always tells him he’s obvious, and maybe this is what finally gives him away.

“I’ll see what I can do,” he says at last.

Ren’s smiles. “Sure. That’s cool.”

He flees.

Ren showers once he’s done in the gym, and heads down to the hotel’s restaurant. Masato is already there, sitting alone at a small table at the back. He does prefer to eat earlier than everyone else, including Ren, but Ren has had a long day and he thinks he’ll be going to bed early tonight.

“Hijirikawa,” he greets. Masato nods.

“Jinguji,” he says. “I spoke to my father earlier.”

Ren looks at him, asking him to go on, and Masato’s mouth works for a moment. Anger, possibly. Irritation, more likely.

A waitress interrupts them, and Ren asks her for a glass of water and a copy of the menu. She nods and leaves quietly.

“My father says that I am welcome to invite someone home for a few days,” he says. “If you really would like to meet Mai properly, now would be an ideal time.”

“Sure, I’ll come,” Ren says, way too fast. “That’s fine.”

“Really?” Masato asks, eyebrows drawing together. “You – my father does not like you.”

Ren shrugs. “I don’t like him, so that works out fine.”

Masato frowns more deeply. “Are you sure?”

“It’ll be fun. You’re right in the middle of Kyoto, you can show me around. Oh, only if Mai wants to. I wouldn’t want to interrupt you two.” Ren doesn’t have to physically bite his own tongue to stop himself talking, but it’s a close thing.

“If you’re sure,” Masato says. “Please don’t feel obliged to come, just because you can.”

The waitress returns with his glass of water and the menu, and another waiter comes at the same time with Masato’s meal. He’s ordered fish.

“Please, don’t wait for me,” Ren insists to him. “I’ll have the same as him,” he says to the waitress.

She nods and takes the menu back, and leaves them alone again. After the sudden flurry of activity, their little table, tucked away in the corner, seems very quiet and close.

“Well, I’m not going to come if you don’t want me there,” Ren says, frowning. Masato picks up his chopsticks and starts eating.

“That isn’t it,” Masato says, stiffly not looking at Ren. “I simply do not want you feeling uncomfortable around my father.”

Ren waves it away. “I can handle a little disapproval,” he says. “I’ll be on my best behaviour, I promise.”

Masato raises his eyebrows. “I dread to see it,” he quips. “You will be expected to at least eat dinner with my family. You won’t be able to entirely avoid them.”

“Hijirikawa,” Ren says. “It’s fine. I’ll come.”

Masato looks at him for a moment, and then nods, apparently satisfied with whatever he sees. “Alright. I will arrange it.”

“Okay,” Ren says. The same waitress from before brings Ren his food. “And in return, I want you to at least think about coming on a trip with me somewhere.”

Masato blinks at him. “What?” he says, somehow completely flatly.

“What?” Ren asks. “I don’t like your father. I don’t want to be around him, and obviously I don’t want you to be around him. Don’t spend the whole three weeks there. Don’t come with me if you dread the thought, but don’t stay there just because you feel you have to.”

“Jinguji,” Masato says.

“I know, I’m intruding, it’s none of my business,” Ren says, waving his hands around before remembering his food and starting on it. It’s extremely mediocre. “Just. Think about it, okay?”

Masato looks at him, eyes narrowed, for a full minute before he nods. “I will think about it,” he allows. “Do not expect me to agree though.”

Ren grins, tries to pretend he’s not weak with relief. “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he says.

The others filter into the restaurant just as Masato and Ren are leaving. Tokiya raises his eyebrows at Ren, but Ren is completely impervious to Tokiya’s idea of teasing so he just raises his eyebrows straight back. Tokiya’s lips quirk.

“See you tomorrow,” Ren says when they reach Masato’s room.

“Tomorrow,” Masato says. “What dates would be best for you to visit?”

“Anything’s fine,” Ren says. “Wait, hold on. I have a thing on the 23rd, so I have to be out of yours by the 21st at least.”

Masato nods and makes a note in his phone. “Would you be alright to visit immediately?” he asks. “You have everything you would need for a short trip, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Ren admits. He had wanted a day or two to decompress, but it might be better if Masato doesn’t show up at home alone. “So long as I can do laundry at yours.”

“That will be fine,” Masato says. “I will have a second flight booked.”

Ren nods. “Alright. How long can I stay?”

Masato’s mouth opens a fraction, before he catches himself. “I do not think my father will object to your presence. You are welcome to stay as long as you like.”

Ren raises his eyebrows. “Okay,” he says. “Well, night then.”

“See you tomorrow.”

Masato unlocks his door and disappears through it, and Ren is left alone in the brightly-lit hotel corridor. He sighs, just breathing for a moment, before collecting himself and heading for his own room.

He flops onto his bed. It’s not terribly uncomfortable but Ren scowls anyway. The lamp on the wall buzzes quietly. Nothing moves. Even the dust in the air seems static.

Ren pulls his clothes off and drops them onto the chair by the end of the bed. Masato won’t let him help if he makes it obvious that’s what he’s trying to do, but if he pretends he’s just being intrusive then Masato might let him get away with it.

Ren is the only one who understands that if Masato is left in a house with his father for three weeks, he will not come back to work. He doesn’t think even Masato is quite as aware of this as Ren is.

He brushes his teeth, pulls his hair back into a knot, and goes to bed.

They have three shows to do in Sapporo – one on Friday, and two on Saturday. Most of Friday is spent setting up and getting used to the stage. They all spend hours in the makeup chairs. The costume changes are second nature by now, but still the staff panic. The lights go up, the music comes on, and then it’s time to be an idol again.

Ren likes being an idol. His brother was – okay, well, now’s not the time, but his brother had been right about that. He’s good at this. He thrives on it, thrives on the attention, the lights and the music and the acting and the sheer joy of finally having found a place, of having found –

“Masa!” Otoya yells. “It’s your turn!”

Masato leaves backstage to the crowd roaring. Ren’s first solo isn’t for a few turns now, so he watches Masato sat at his piano, straight-backed and elegant, for the entire song.

It’s nice, how Masato relaxes when he plays. Even onstage, with tens of thousands of eyes on him, he’s still calm.

Ren feels himself smiling, but it’s dark enough backstage that only Tokiya can see him. Tokiya sighs, nudging him gently.

“Foolish,” he only says.

Ren just smiles. “I know.”

The second and third shows go similarly, and the first went the same as the rest of the tour. They’re good at this – _they_ , individually, but also their staff and the venue staff. Everyone is scarily efficient, and though they’re not close, they’re still friendly.

“Thank you for your hard work,” he hears Masato saying to one of the managers. “If you could pass on how grateful we are to the rest of the team, I would really appreciate it.”

Ren grins. “Yeah. Thank you.”

The manager nods, and disappears. Masato turns to him.

“Are you sure about tomorrow?” he asks.

Ren shrugs. “You’ve asked that,” he says. “When are we leaving?”

“The car comes at seven,” Masato says. “I apologise for the early hour.”

Ren hides a grimace. “It’s fine.”

Masato raises his eyebrows at him, like he can see right through the lie. “Yes, well. We will be having lunch with my parents and Mai, but we will be expected to have dinner with the whole family.”

Ren blinks. “Oh yeah, you all live near each other,” he says. “You have dinner together often?”

Masato grimaces. “Not exactly,” he admits. “It is a celebratory dinner.”

Ren glares. “You have told them this is a holiday, right? They do know you’re not staying?”

“I have told them,” Masato snaps.

“Alright,” Ren says. “Celebratory return dinners. For a temporary visit.”

“I don’t like it either,” Masato mutters. “It’s just a dinner.”

They walk in silence for a couple of paces. The others are just ahead of them, chattering away loudly enough that they can’t be overheard.

“Have you thought about coming with me for a bit yet?” Ren asks. “I know you want to spend some time with Mai, but it’s your vacation too. Do you want to go anywhere?”

Ren watches Masato watch him out of the corner of his eye. “It would be nice to go abroad,” he admits at last. “It has been a long time since I left Japan. Perhaps it would be nice to go to Europe again.”

“Oh yeah?” Ren says, neutral.

“I wouldn’t expect you to accompany me to Europe,” Masato says, hastily. “It was simply an idea.”

Ren rolls his eyes. “I’m going to Italy after I leave yours,” he says. “Come with me. Bring Mai.”

Masato laughs. “Of course you would suggest something like that,” he says. “I can hardly be so irresponsible.”

“I’m serious,” Ren says. “I don’t mind. We’ve got a villa. You could both stay with me. Has Mai ever been abroad?”

Masato shakes his head. “No,” he murmurs. “She has had a very different childhood to me.”

Ren doesn’t say anything to that. He doesn’t know what to say. Masato shakes his head.

“See you tomorrow morning,” he says. “Goodnight, and goodbye everyone. Please stay in touch over the holiday.”

Otoya throws himself at Masato, and Natsuki scoops them both up in a hug, and then Syo and Cecil offer more reserved hugs, and Tokiya shakes his hand which turns into a hug anyway, and Ren shakes his head, grinning.

“See you tomorrow,” he says. Masato smiles at him, brief and soft, and shuts his door.

Syo and Cecil and Otoya go down a different corridor, and then Tokiya is the next to peel away from Natsuki and himself, and they all say goodbye at the necessary junctions.

“Have a good holiday, Ren,” Tokiya murmurs. “Try not to be too obvious in front of his family.”

“Shut it, Icchi,” Ren tells him good-naturedly. “Make sure you actually rest.”

“I plan to,” Tokiya says. “It will be nice to relax for a little while.”

Natsuki wraps him in a hug in front of his door. “Stay in touch, Ren,” he says cheerfully. “I’ll see you in a month.”

“It’s a long time, isn’t it?” Ren asks. They’ve been living in each other’s pockets since they were seventeen, since the others were fifteen and sixteen, nearly a decade.

Natsuki laughs, but it’s softer than his usual giggle. “It is,” he agrees. “But of course, we’ll never really be apart.”

Ren laughs. He doesn’t need comforting, not really. But Natsuki can be relied on to try anyway.

“See you soon, Shinomi,” he murmurs. “Don’t have too much fun without me.”

Natsuki smiles. “I could never,” he promises. “Bring me back something nice when you go on holiday!”

Ren grins. “Of course I will,” he says. “Goodnight.”

He slips into his hotel room. The light doesn’t buzz when it’s turned up its maximum brightness. He stares at the blank television for a while, before accidentally meeting eyes with his reflection and looking away.

He showers, quick and utilitarian, before brushing his teeth and drying his hair with the cheap dryer the hotel provided. The silence it leaves behind is almost painful, so Ren puts his headphones in and switches on the radio to whatever station it can pick up. He finds someone droning on, meaningless background noise, and falls asleep to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im going underground for the next week while i go apeshit for the masaren event so i'll see yall on the other side wish me luck


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hijirikawa Estate.

Ren wakes up at half past six, because he’s never going to be a morning person, and the next few days are going to test him. He rolls out of bed, brushes his teeth, and shoves his still-wet toothbrush in his bag. He makes it to the lobby by ten to seven, where of course Masato is already waiting.

“Have you eaten?” Masato asks, concerned. Ren grunts at him.

“That’s no good,” Masato says, disapproving. “Wait here. I’ll be back in a moment.”

He disappears, and Ren watches him go blankly. He reappears at three minutes to seven, holding a paper cup and a plastic packet.

“I got you something,” he mutters, pushing them into Ren’s hands. “Take them.”

Ren makes his fingers close around the items – the cup is hot, and the packet appears to be a sweet bun.

“Thank you,” he makes himself say.

“You need to eat in the morning,” Masato mutters. “And better than this! This is a terrible breakfast.”

“Thanks,” Ren says dryly, and takes a sip of the drink. It’s coffee, hot and black enough to be bearable. “I wasn’t gonna eat at all.”

Masato scolds him until the car turns up, which is honestly pretty entertaining if Ren doesn’t listen too hard. He follows Masato down the hotel steps to the black car idling at the kerb, follows Masato’s instructions to put his suitcase in the trunk, and gets in after him.

“Good morning, Hijirikawa,” the man says. “Good morning,” he says to Ren.

“Good morning,” Masato says, and proceeds to make polite small talk with the man. Does he work for Hijirikawa’s family? Is he simply a hired chauffeur? He wonders. His own family have branches in Sapporo, but do the Hijirikawa Conglomerate?

They get out at the airport. The driver helps them with their bags. Ren follows Masato to the check-in desk, and then remembers that Masato had paid for the tickets.

“What, no, I can cover mine,” Ren insists.

Masato smiles humourlessly. “My father paid,” he says. “You can pay him back, if you’d like.”

Ren narrows his eyes. “Hijirikawa,” he says. “How badly does your father want you home?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” Masato tells him. “Come on.”

Ren follows him through security and to the waiting area. He gets another coffee and buys Masato tea. The flight is two hours, and Ren dozes off against the window.

They’re greeted at the airport by another black car, this time with two men in the front who address Masato with almost comical formality and insist on helping with their bags. Neither of them know what to make of Ren. Masato watches them with thin lips.

The drive is painfully awkward. They don’t even turn the radio on, so they have to sit in silence for over an hour as they’re driven out to Masato’s family home.

It’s a fucking _compound._

Ren only realises this when they drive through a huge pair of gates and there are half a dozen houses lined up neatly in the enclosed area. All of them are huge and traditional, all clearly very well maintained.

“Hijirikawa,” he hisses. “You never told me you lived on a period drama set!”

Masato almost rolls his eyes at that. “I do not,” he mutters. “My family is just very traditional.”

Ren gapes like a fish. “This is ridiculous,” he hisses.

“Your family is rich too,” Masato hisses back. “Stop acting like you’ve never seen somewhere like this before.”

“As a _museum_ ,” Ren tells him. “Not as an actual house.”

Masato sighs at him. “Stop trying to distract me,” he says.

“I’m multitasking,” Ren says.

The car pulls into a lot – of course they have a parking lot, why shouldn’t they – hidden out of view of the main entrance by a thicket of trees. Masato hands Ren his bag and hefts his own, thanks the two drivers, and begins heading for the biggest of all the houses.

Ren follows, admittedly mostly false panic pushed to the side. Masato is right, and he’s not unused to such places, and he’s really here to glare at Masato’s father when he starts getting pushy.

Damn. He’s probably going to have to stay the entire holiday, or at least until Masato can be persuaded to take a real vacation.

It’s not Masato’s company he objects to. It – it really isn’t. It’s this place, the spectre of Masato’s father looming in the house ahead, the perfect etiquette he’s going to have to wear if he doesn’t want to embarrass Masato. Which of course he can’t.

Masato takes off his shoes, switches them for a pair of slippers and points Ren to his own pair. “We’ll have to change for lunch,” he murmurs. “Ah. I don’t suppose you brought any clothes.”

He uses the old word, so Ren shakes his head. “Only what I brought on tour,” he admits. “Sorry. Is there a shopping district near here?”

“You can wear mine,” Masato says. His hands fumble on the door, and it takes him a moment to catch the wood and slide it open. He leads Ren out into the open-air corridor by a perfectly kept courtyard. “Come. We’re close enough in size.”

“When’s lunch?” Ren asks, idly.

“Half past twelve,” Masato says. “Mai is in lessons now, but she will be available after lunch.”

Ren bumps into Masato gently. “Come on. You’re allowed to sound excited, if you want.”

Masato frowns. “It isn’t that,” he admits. “I have never – she was five, when I left. I feel like I ought to be around more often.”

“You’re doing okay,” Ren tells him. “You’re here now, aren’t you?”

“I suppose I am,” Masato says. He slides open a door and puts his bag on the floor, just inside the door. Ren follows, puts his bag next to Masato’s carefully, and shuts the door behind himself.

Masato exhales slowly. It can’t quite be called a sigh – it’s too controlled, too quiet. But Ren notices.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Sound carries,” Masato says, very quietly. “There shouldn’t be anyone next door for now, but later there will be. We will have to be careful not to disturb anyone.”

Ren thinks, for a moment, about sex and love and how quiet they must be here.

“Sure,” he says, easily. “I’ll bear it in mind.”

Satisfied his point has been made, Masato turns to another screen and slides it open to reveal a wall of shelves of neatly folded clothes.

“This one should be fine,” Masato says, handing Ren a dark red kimono, folded neatly into a square. “You should be alright with just these. It’s warm.”

It is warm. It’s still morning, but it’s July and the temperature is going to soar.

“Right,” Ren says, and takes the clothes. He turns his back on Masato and strips off his street clothes, at which Masato makes a choked sound.

“Hijirikawa?” Ren asks, turning around. Masato is looking away from him, and Ren can see his ears are red. “Oh, sorry. I thought you were used to it by now.”

They’ve changed in front of each other enough times that he should really be used to it. How old-fashioned. Ren pulls on the kimono, folds and sets all the layers into the right places, and ties the obi carefully. When he turns back to Masato, he sees he’s already changed.

Masato has always looked most comfortable in traditional clothes – always looked _good,_ if Ren is honest with himself – but he doesn’t look comfortable now. He tugs at his sleeves, fiddles with the neckline, pulls at the obi.

“Here, you – you messed it up,” Ren says, clicking his tongue. “It was fine before.”

He reaches for Masato and Masato allows him to retie the knot. Ren ties it as simply as he can, and tucks the ends away.

“There,” he says. “Better.”

“Thank you,” Masato says quietly. “I will admit to being nervous.”

“You’re alright,” Ren says. “It’s been a while. It’ll be nice to see your mother and Mai, won’t it?”

“It will,” Masato says. He musters a smile, and Ren smiles back. “We should go to lunch now.”

Ren checks his phone. It’s twelve-sixteen, and he supposes it would be poor form to be late to lunch on their first day here. “Sure,” he says. “Let’s go.”

He tucks his phone into his obi and Masato bites back a smile. “There are pockets in the sleeves of that kimono,” he says. “It is one of my favourites, for this reason.”

Ren shoves one arm bodily into the other sleeve and finds the pocket, grinning.

“I have got to find a kimono with pockets like this,” he says, and tucks his phone into the pocket. “Okay. Now I’m ready.”

Masato shakes his head, smiling a little, and Ren follows him through the house to a dining room. Masato’s mother and Mai are already knelt at the table, but Mai rises to greet her brother.

“Brother,” she says, bows to him. Masato bows too, and then smiles at her. His face has softened more than it ever does away from her.

“Hello Mai,” he says, softly. “It’s good to see you. Hello, Mother,” he says, bowing to her more deeply. “I am glad to see you looking well.”

“Masato,” she says. “Your friend?”

Masato flinches, as though he’d forgotten Ren was there. “This is Jinguji Ren. Jinguji, this is my mother, and my sister Mai.”

“It’s nice to meet you both,” Ren says, bowing to each of them.

“Masato,” a voice from behind them says. “Jinguji.”

“Hello, Father,” Masato says, turning to bow. He really is a wonderful actor – if Ren hadn’t been angled right, he wouldn’t have seen the panic in Masato’s eyes at the moment his father said his name. “It has been some time.”

“It has,” his father agrees.

“Good afternoon, Hijirikawa,” Ren greets, bowing a fraction more shallowly than Masato did. “It is good to meet you again.”

“Likewise,” Masato’s father says, leaving just a fraction of a pause before he answers to make sure Ren knows exactly how good it is to see him again. “Please. Have a seat.”

Ren kneels neatly next to Masato. His manners through the meal are impeccable. He’s sure Masato’s father is watching him for indiscretions but he’s not going to find any. Ren was raised a miserable rich kid too. He can play the politeness game.

The Hijirikawas make small talk – Mai’s studies, Masato’s work. It is deliberately shallow and meaningless, and Ren’s skin prickles with the tension. He’s sure dinner tonight will be even worse.

He comments where appropriate, addresses Masato’s parents with the correct level of formality, addresses Mai with the politely distant respect that’s appropriate, balances himself carefully on the tightrope that family meals here apparently are.

“Masato,” his father says. “I would like to speak to you at some point.”

“Of course, Father,” Masato says. “Would you like us to meet you in the study after lunch?”

Masaomi’s eyelid twitches. “I had hoped to speak with you alone.”

Masato blinks. “I understand,” he says. “Would it be possible for me to show Jinguji back to my room first?”

“Masato,” his mother reprimands. “Masaomi, darling. You can’t ask Masato to leave his guest alone. That’d be terribly poor hosting.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” Ren says cheerfully.

“No, you’re right,” Masaomi says. “That would be discourteous. I do apologise.”

“Not at all,” Ren says brightly.

Masato looks at him, and Ren looks back. Masato nods, slightly.

“Fifteen minutes?” Masato asks.

“Really, I can manage by myself alone for a little while,” Ren says. “Perhaps I can take a walk!”

Masato’s mouth twitches. “Ten minutes,” he mutters. “Father? Will fifteen minutes be enough time?”

“It will be,” Masato’s father says. “Please, do show your guest back to your room first, though. I insist.”

They bow to the family and leave, and Ren grins widely as soon as their backs are turned.

“You sure you wanna speak to him?” he asks.

Masato nods shortly. “It will go better if I do not appear to be avoiding him.”

And with that, Masato leaves Ren in his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ren voice i can and will burn your house down if i am left alone


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hijirikawa Estate, with Mai.

A sharp knock resounds on the door behind Ren, and then the door is sliding open and Mai is walking into the room. She’s changed from her clothes at lunch, a plain skirt and a loose shirt appropriate for the summer heat.

“He’s gone already?” she asks, frowning.

“Afraid so,” Ren says. He tries not to look embarrassed at being caught in Masato’s wardrobe.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“I was putting the stuff Hijirikawa leant me away,” Ren says, aware that he sounds defensive.

“What are you even looking for in his wardrobe?” Mai asks judgementally. “You won't find anything except clothes.”

“I'm not snooping,” Ren protests, feeling slightly ridiculous. “Hijirikawa – Masato will be back in a few minutes.” He checks his phone. “Twelve minutes.”

Mai looks at him, the way only a fourteen year old can, and then shrugs. “Chairs and stuff are back there,” she says. “We might as well get it out. Brother will be sleeping in here, after all.”

Mai strides over to a wall and slides it back, revealing a storage cupboard. She grabs a low table, wrestles with it, and gets it out into the main room after a minute. Ren follows, grabs the cushions that had been stored with it and drags them out to the table. They’re surprisingly heavy. He lays them out carefully, and Mai nods at his work.

“You’ll do,” she says, and kneels at the table. “How long now?”

Ren checks. “Five minutes,” he says. “Hijirikawa said you had lessons earlier. What were you learning?”

Mai scowls. “Tea ceremony,” she mutters. “Do you know how?”

“Yeah,” Ren admits. “Hijirikawa taught me.”

Masato had been teaching Cecil, and when Otoya had admitted to not knowing anything about them, he had insisted on teaching all of them.

“They’re fun with the right people,” he says. “I guess your tutors aren’t that interesting.”

Mai’s lips quirk. “You guess right,” she says.

The door slides open, and Masato walks in to see the two of them.

“Brother!” Mai cries, and in a move only a child could pull, flings herself into his arms from her knees. Masato catches her, staggering, and Ren looks at the table, hiding his soft smile from them both.

“Hello, Mai,” Masato says, wrapping his arms around her. “It has been a long time.”

Mai barely comes up to his chest. Their hair is a slightly different shade – hers is just a fraction darker. She lets go of him at last and pulls away to look up at him.

“You’ve been gone so long,” she accuses.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Masato murmurs. “I missed so much.”

They kneel down too, and Ren smiles at them both because if he doesn’t focus on doing something he’s going to stare at Masato.

“I found him snooping,” Mai says, primly, and Masato sighs and looks over at Ren.

“I made the part about you needing constant attention up,” he says. “Don’t prove me right.”

“What? There wasn’t anywhere to sit in here,” Ren tells him. “You’re welcome.”

Masato sighs. “Please don’t be a nightmare,” he says bluntly. Ren laughs. “I’m serious.”

“You have so little faith in me,” Ren says. “I can behave.”

Mai squints between them, apparently confused. “Do you two even like each other?” she asks.

“No,” Ren says.

“Not at all,” Masato says at the same time. Both of them are grinning, though Masato’s is tiny.

“We’re sworn rivals,” Ren tells her. “We can never be friends.”

“Cool,” Mai declares. “Do you want to see the compound?”

“I would love to see your beautiful home,” Ren tells her. “Shall we?”

The three of them wander the estate for a couple of hours. Mai points out all the gardens, and tells him gossip about the other families that Masato pretends to scold her for, and they sit at the koi pond for a while and watch the fish, and then Mai drags Masato to the room she was clearly leading them towards the whole time but was trying to pretend she wasn’t.

“Come on,” she whines. “Play for me.”

“Mai,” Masato says, but Mai is already pushing him onto the piano stool. “Don’t act so spoiled.”

“I will be perfectly grown up as soon as you play me the piano,” Mai says. She pouts when she says it. Ren smiles at the sight of her – Masato hasn’t pouted in front of him, or probably at all, since he was maybe seven years old. But he had looked like she does when he had.

“I am on holiday, Mai,” Masato reprimands, and stretches his arms above his head. “Alright. Just this once, I will allow you to ask in such a childish fashion.”

Mai nods seriously, and Masato begins playing.

Ren watches the siblings. Mai is slender and delicate, and though Masato is slim too he looks so much bigger than her. They’re both squeezed onto the piano stool, in a way reminiscent of how Haruka used to play with him back at the academy. It’s been a long time since they had time to do that regularly.

Masato doesn’t seem to have any direction. He plays jazz, at first, shifts into classical music that has his hands flying faster than Ren’s eyes can follow, slows into a lullaby for a few bars before playing a series of fragments of the songs they’d written and performed together, as idols. For a moment, Ren hears the song the two of them had done, the one that had been far too romantic but nobody had commented, and then the music is changing again and Masato is playing a waltz.

Mai lights up. “Dance with me!” she exclaims, tugging on Masato’s arm. Masato misses a note but carries on.

“But who will play?” he murmurs.

Mai turns to Ren. “Can you dance?” she asks, and Ren grins. He offers her his hand with a flourish and she spins off the piano stool and takes it. There is enough floor space for them to dance so long as they’re careful, so Ren puts a hand on her waist and she reaches up to his shoulder, and then they’re whirling around the room.

Ren can’t help but smile, and Mai laughs. It takes them a few moments to get used to each other – Ren is tall, and Mai is tiny, and he stumbles a little trying not to step on her toes, but once they’re used to each other they’re flawless.

Masato brings the song to a close after a few minutes, and Ren carefully holds her weight so she can lean back in a shallow dip, before he gently pulls her upright. Her cheeks are flushed and she’s beaming, eyes sparkling up at Ren.

“You’re really good!” she exclaims.

“Thank you,” Ren says, and bows to kiss her hand. “For a wonderful dance.”

Masato sighs, gently. “You incorrigible flirt,” he scolds.

Ren clutches his chest. “I would never besmirch Lady Mai’s honour like that!” he cries. Mai giggles.

“You should have danced with me,” she says. “Next time, you have to dance with me.”

“Alright, alright,” Masato sighs. “I will dance with you next time.”

Ren smiles. Masato checks his watch.

“Dinner will be shortly,” he says. “You will both have to change.”

Ren groans. “It’s like we’re still on tour,” he says. “Constantly changing outfits.”

Mai tugs on his arm, where she hasn’t let go from the dance. “Will you tell me about the tour?” she asks. “Will you?”

“Later,” Masato says, firmly. “None of us are dressed appropriately for a formal dinner.”

Ren bites his tongue on telling Masato exactly where he can stick his formal dinner. Mai sighs.

“Yes, brother,” she says. “I suppose we had better go then.”

The three of them traipse back to the house they’d started off in, and Mai splits off from them to go and change. Masato and Ren walk quietly back to Masato’s room, Ren fighting off a yawn.

Masato looks at him, amused. “Is it bedtime, Jinguji?” he asks.

Ren groans. “I got up at six thirty on my first day off,” he says. “Let me be tired.”

Masato lets out a soft huff of laughter. “I’m afraid tomorrow will be just as bad,” he says. “Breakfast will be at seven thirty.”

Ren groans, louder this time. Masato laughs again.

“You’re so horrible to me,” Ren says. “Laughing at my pain.”

Masato shakes his head and opens the door to his room. “Stop being melodramatic,” he says. “Here. We need to get changed.”

Ren follows Masato to his wardrobe and obediently takes the kimono Masato puts in his hands.

“What did you do with the other one?” Masato asks, and Ren points to where he left it folded on one of the shelves. Masato nods. “Alright.”

He turns his back to Ren and Ren looks away quickly as he starts undressing. He strips himself and pulls on the more complicated clothes, fiddling with the layers to make them sit properly.

“How many formal kimono do you have?” Ren asks.

“Four,” Masato says, bluntly. “However, there are several more kept in the family storage unit.”

Ren has one formal kimono, but he does own over a dozen suits, so maybe he can’t really say anything. He pulls on the haori, already too warm despite how fine the material is.

“You – no, turn around,” Masato says. “You can’t tie the obi like that.”

“What’s wrong with this knot?” Ren protests, but turns around to let Masato at it.

“It’s far too ornate,” Masato says.

“I thought this was a fancy dinner,” Ren mutters.

“It is,” Masato says.

“And?” Ren asks. Masato finishes behind him, and Ren strains around to look at it in the mirror. Masato has tied it in a far more complicated way, but it looks far less decorative. “How is this any better?”

“It just is,” Masato says. “You can’t look any more decorated than a woman might.”

Ren raises his eyebrows. “Okay,” he says. “My bad.”

Masato lets out a shuddering breath. “It’s not – it’s not a problem,” he says. “You didn’t know.”

“It’s okay,” Ren says. “Come on.” Ren thinks he might be trying to say something else, but he can’t quite read what it is. “I’m not upset with you for being irritable,” he says. “I get it. I wouldn’t want to have dinner with my father either.”

Masato manages a smile. “Don’t speak ill of the dead,” he says.

“Why do you only cheer up when you can tell me off?” Ren asks. “Come on. We really will be late if we don’t leave now.”

Masato nods. “Alright. You are right.”

He turn sharply and exits the room. Ren follows, falling into step beside him, and they approach the dining hall together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [🤡](https://twitter.com/kanda_uyu/status/1222026565221015552)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit to town.

Ren wakes up with a headache. The headache is not because of the rice wine he drank last night – he had actually managed to pour most of that out into a plant-pot, and then into the soup bowl that was about to be cleared away. The headache is because it’s six-thirty in the morning, and because Hijirikawa’s father is the most stressful man in the world to be around.

Okay, that’s not fair. His own father had come close. Ren groans and drags himself into a sitting position.

“Good morning,” Masato says. His futon has been put away, and he’s sat cross-legged in a meditative position with his eyes shut.

“Hijirikawa,” Ren rasps. “How’d you sleep?”

Shockingly badly, if the shadows under his eyes are anything to go by. “Fine,” Masato says. “Yourself?”

“Okay,” Ren says. “Where’s your shower?”

Masato unfolds himself and stands up. Ren gets off his futon too and stretches. He’d worn pyjama shorts, because it felt a bit too much to sleep naked next to Hijirikawa, even though he’s done it before, even though that’s what he did in the academy –

“Are you coming?” Masato asks.

“Yeah,” Ren groans. He pulls on a tshirt and grabs his toiletries bag. “Can I borrow a towel?”

“Yes,” Masato says, already leaving. Ren chases after him. The bathroom Masato leaves him in is huge, a wetroom with an open shower and an enormous bathtub. Ren showers as fast as he can and shaves in the fogged-up mirror, and then he puts concealer on even though the bags under his eyes are only barely noticeable.

He takes a wrong turn heading back to Masato’s room, and ends up doubling back on himself and running into one of the cousins he’d been forced to make small talk with last night.

“Good morning,” he greets. The cousin looks at him imperiously.

“Good morning,” he says, a few moments later. “Can I help you?”

“I don’t suppose you know where Hi- Masato’s room is, do you?” Ren asks, laughing a bit. He's far too tired for this. “I got lost.”

Byakuya (maybe? Ren really can’t remember) sneers at him, a tiny bit. Ren beams back. “Take the third left. He’s right in front of you,” he says, pointing down a corridor.

“Thank you,” Ren says, bowing cheerfully.

“See you later,” perhaps-Byakuya says, clearly hoping this never comes to pass.

Masato eyes him unimpressedly when Ren finally makes it back. “Who did you speak to?” he asks.

“I think it was Byakuya,” Ren says, cheerful. “He was very helpful.”

Masato frowns. “I see,” he says. “Here. You can change after breakfast.”

He’s holding out the same kimono Ren had worn to lunch yesterday. Ren puts it on, and when Masato gets back from showering they head out to breakfast together.

Dinner last night had been an absurd thing, nearly forty Hijirikawas knelt neatly at an enormous table, Masato in the seat of honour, a dozen courses and an unmanageable amount of wine. Ren is used to excess, but he hadn’t expected so much of it here.

Breakfast, thankfully, is nothing like that. They arrive at the kitchen at seven twenty-five, and Masato immediately starts boiling rice. Ren takes a knife and chops onions as directed. Mai stumbles in at seven thirty-four, and squints at them.

“You don’t need to do that,” she tells them, bleary. “I had it.”

“If you were so eager to make breakfast, you should have come down earlier,” Masato tells her, before leaning over to kiss her on the forehead. Ren pretends not to see. “Can you heat up some soup?”

Mai begins pulling things out of cupboards. Masato grills fish. Ren poaches eggs, and the three of them assemble breakfast for five. Ren stomach churns at the thought of so much food so early, but it does smell nice.

“Hijirikawa?” Ren asks. Masato is staring at the bowls.

“Is this alright?” Masato asks, gesturing at the food. He’s not panicking, but there’s something nervous in his eyes.

Ren snorts at him. “You won a cooking show last month,” he says.

“I saw that!” Mai says. “Come on, brother, I want to eat!”

“Yes, yes, come on then,” Masato says. He puts the bowls onto three trays, and they take one each and head through to the smaller dining area, where Masato and Mai’s mother is already knelt. Their father is just removing his shoes.

“Good morning, Mother, Father,” Masato says, bowing his head a little.

“Masato. Mai. Jinguji,” Masaomi says. Masato’s hands don’t shake as he sets a bowl in front of his father.

“Good morning,” Ren says brightly.

Their mother smiles at him gently. Ren will really have to ask Masato what her name is.

The food is good. It’s light enough that Ren’s churning stomach doesn’t protest too much, and it doesn’t look like Masaomi can find anything to criticise.

“What will you be doing this morning, Masato?” his mother asks.

Masato fumbles a piece of fish. “I’m not sure yet,” he says. “I have agreed to show Jinguji around the town.”

Ren looks up. “Yeah! It’s been a long time since I went anywhere in Kyoto, I’m really looking forward to seeing it.”

Mai beams. “There are loads of cool places to visit around here!” she says. “There's an old shopping district nearby, and it’s not on any English language websites so the tourists don’t go there.”

“That sounds perfect,” Ren says. “Oh, unless you’ve got other things to do. I’d hate to intrude.”

Masaomi narrows his eyes at him. “It’s no problem,” he says. “Do you want a driver?”

“We can take the train,” Masato says. “It is quicker.”

“Are you coming too, Mai?” Ren asks.

Mai lights up. “Can I?” she says.

Masato smiles at her. “Alright. You will need to behave though.”

“I’m not five,” Mai groans. “I can look after myself.”

“Mai,” her mother scolds. “Your brother is just trying to look after you.”

They finish breakfast, and the three of them wash the dishes and put them away. Mai squeezes between them and elbows them both as they work, and Masato flicks soapy water at her, and Ren laughs at the two of them.

“Come on. Let’s get changed,” Masato says. “Don’t forget to put sunscreen on.”

“Okay!” Mai chirps. “I’ll meet you by the entrance!”

She skips off. Ren smiles after her.

“She’s a good kid,” he says. Masato beams proudly.

“She’s doing very well,” he says. “I’m glad.”

The two of them change into street clothes and collect the things they’ll need. Ren shoves his wallet into his shorts and Masato packs a bag with sunscreen and hats and sunglasses.

“Sunscreen,” Masato says, holding out a bottle. Ren groans and takes it, and Masato puts his own sunscreen on too.

“Let’s go,” Masato says. “Is there anything in particular that you would like to see?”

“It’s been ages since I had a bath,” Ren says, pensive. “A proper one, I mean. Or we could go see a play?”

“Both sound ideas,” Masato says.

“Or, we could just go to an arcade,” Ren suggests slyly.

Masato sighs at him. “You came to the historical province of Kyoto to play arcade games?” he asks.

“I think Mai would like it,” Ren says innocently.

Masato grumbles. “You’re right,” he says. “But we are not going to an arcade.”

“Today,” Ren counters.

“Today,” Masato sighs. “We will also not be going tomorrow.”

“That’s what you think,” Ren says. They meander towards the entrance. Ren steals a hat out of the bag Masato is carrying. It’s hot already.

“Brother! Jinguji!” Mai calls, skidding to a halt beside them. Masato plops a hat onto her head, a delicate white thing with a wide brim and flowers embroidered onto it.

“Mai,” Masato says. “Don’t shout.”

Mai looks at Ren, and Masato sighs at them both. “Come on.”

They walk to the train station near Masato’s house, which takes a good fifteen minutes. It’s a tiny, old place, one that only has one train to the nearest big station.

“Where would you like to go, then?” Masato asks them both, distractedly looking at the map.

“Don’t care,” Ren says, cheerfully. “We could just get on a train and see where we end up.”

Masato twitches. “I dislike aimless wandering,” he says.

Ren shrugs. “I don’t have anything in mind,” he says.

Mai is watching them, and Ren has to look away when she meets his eyes. Her eyes are far rounder than Masato’s, but they’re oddly cutting too.

“I want to visit the Murasakibura baths,” she announces. “Can we do that?”

Masato turns to Ren. “There. We have a destination.”

“Alright, alright,” Ren says. “Which trains do we need to get?”

Masato points. “Platform fourteen,” he says. “There will be one leaving in ten minutes.”

“Let’s go,” Ren says.

Mai loops her arm through Masato’s as they walk to the platform. The train is crowded, so the three of them huddle by the doors.

Then Mai cackles. “Now you’re both trapped,” she says gleefully. “Brother! Brother! Tell me about work!”

Ren laughs aloud. “Damn. I wish I had embarrassing stories,” he says.

“Quiet, Jinguji,” Masato says.

“No,” Ren says. “Oh yeah! He falls over on set a lot, and he apologises really properly every single time.”

“Brother!” Mai gasps. “I knew it! You’re really clumsy!”

“He’s not!” Ren says. “He’s really graceful! There’s just something about being on a TV set that makes him trip over everything. And then he’s like ‘oh, I am in your debt’ every single time someone catches him.”

Mai laughs. Masato hits Ren, and Mai laughs harder.

“Jinguji fell off a stage once,” Masato says.

“I – barely!” Ren yelps, playing up his hurt. “It was early!”

“It was afternoon!” Masato says.

“What happened?” Mai asks.

Ren grumbles. Masato shoots him a victorious look. “We were practicing on a new stage. It was smaller than usual, so when Ren had to move for part of a dance, he stepped backwards off the stage.”

Ren had landed slightly too heavily on one ankle, and had had to wrap it for that show. He hadn’t been hurt otherwise, so it’s a funny story now. Masato hadn’t been laughing at the time though, fussing and yelling for ice and trying to make Ren take a nap. For a bruised ankle.

“You fall off stage one time, and it’s all anyone talks about for three months,” Ren mutters. “Masato passed out after eating a cookie once.”

“Shinomiya’s cooking is inedible at best, and actively dangerous at worst.” Masato sniffs.

Ren snickers. “I liked the chilli cupcakes,” he says.

“You were the only one,” Masato says.

They arrive at last. Mai had found a seat, but the two of them had had to stand for the entire journey.

Ren stretches. “So. Bathtime? Or do you want to get something to eat first?”

It’s just past ten, which is when Ren would usually eat his first meal of the day, even if he woke up earlier.

“Let’s get cake!” Mai says.

“No,” Masato tells her. “Honestly, Mai. You know not to eat so much sugar in the morning.”

“Come on,” Mai says, tugging on his arm. “Please? We can go to a bakery and you can get melon bread.”

“Ah. She’s got you,” Ren says. “Come on, I’ll pay.”

They find a little bakery. Mai gets a cupcake, Masato gets a melon bread (a tiny one) and Ren gets a sweet bun. They perch on a wall outside and watch the scenery.

It’s old-fashioned, exactly the kind of place Ren can picture Masato being taken as a treat. It’s not quiet, by any sense of the word, but it’s restrained. The area they’re sat in is pedestrians only, no cars, and the train station is a good few minutes’ walk from here.

Mai and Ren chatter away, and Masato occasionally interjects. It’s very easy to talk to her – she’s bright, and clearly adores Masato. Ren finishes his bun and bins their litter, and they head for the hot springs.

Mai pouts outside. “We have to split up now,” she says.

Ren grimaces. “You don’t want to come into the men’s area.”

“Obviously,” Mai says. “Don’t be too long. We’ll meet up here in an hour.”

“Yes. See you then,” Masato says. “Be careful.”

Mai sighs. “It’s a bath, brother,” she says, before disappearing into the girl’s baths.

Ren kicks his ankle. “Come on. I want a bath.”

The baths are fairly empty, given that it’s half past ten in the morning on a weekday, and they get the shower area to themselves. Ren turns the shower on Masato and Masato dumps a bucket of water over his head.

“This is a nice bath,” Ren says, sinking into it. “Okay. I’m never leaving this bath.”

“You will get hungry,” Masato says. “You will also incur Mai’s wrath.”

Ren shudders. “Is Mai’s wrath anything like yours?” he asks.

“Please,” Masato says. “You know that the younger sibling is always the more demanding.”

“Watch out,” Ren yawns. “We’re going to start a union.”

Masato groans. “I should never have introduced you.”

Ren flicks water at him, careful not to disturb anyone else. Masato looks flushed here, much healthier than he had this morning when serving breakfast to his father. Ren sinks so the water is almost at his eye level and watches him, settled back against the stone wall of the bath.

Masato doesn’t move. His breathing steadies and deepens, and Ren smiles involuntarily. Looks like Mai had the right idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how do fourteen year olds act


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Travelling.

Ren makes it three days before he completely snaps.

“That’s it,” he declares, and kicks over his suitcase. “We’re leaving.”

“You’re going?” Masato asks. His voice is a little smaller than it should be. Ren pretends it doesn’t make his stomach twist. “Ah, of course. I can ask someone to drive you to the nearest train station, or you can--.”

“ _We’re_ leaving,” Ren says, throwing the debris that has escaped from his suitcase back at it. “Mai’s coming too. I’ve had it.”

“You can’t just demand we go with you,” Masato says.

“And yet, here I am,” Ren says. He forces the zip of his suitcase shut. “Right, pack a bag. I’m going to get Mai.”

He ignores Masato’s indignant protests as he strides out of the room, and ignores him also when he chases after him and starts hissing.

“We’re not just – you know I have to – Jinguji!” Masato snaps, pulling on his arm.

“You want to stay here?” Ren shouts, gesturing wildly at the garden they’re walking through. Three people shoot him filthy glares. His voice echoes in the quiet.

Masato glares back. “You can’t just take my sister,” he snaps.

“Why not?” Ren snaps back. “She’d be just as happy somewhere else as she would here. Happier, probably.”

He turns and carries on towards Mai’s room. Masato follows, silently fuming.

He knocks on the wood of the door, and Mai’s voice chirps from inside. “One minute,” she calls. “Who is it?”

“It’s us,” Ren says. “I need your help persuading your brother not to be an idiot.”

Mai slides open the door and glares at him. “What does that mean?” she snaps.

“He wants to stay here,” Ren says.

Mai blinks, and looks at Masato. “Oh. You are an idiot, brother,” she says. “You should go on holiday with Ren.”

Masato sighs. “Not you too,” he mutters. “You know I have to stay.”

Mai puts her hands over her ears. “Can’t hear you,” she says. “Have a wonderful holiday.”

Ren smiles despite himself. “Would you like to come too?” he asks. “We’ll be back before the end of the summer holidays.”

Mai stares at him. “Really?” she asks. “But – Father – I don’t think I’ll be allowed.”

Ren shrugs. “I can be persuasive,” he says. “So can Hijirikawa, actually. I’m sure it’d be fine.”

This is actually going to cost him a fortune. But he’d expected that going in.

“Jinguji, you’re being unreasonable,” Masato says. “We can’t just leave without notice.”

“Not if you don’t go and pack, we can’t,” Ren says. “Hurry up. Shoo.”

Masato makes no move to leave. “You’re wasting your time,” he grits out. “Father will never allow us to go on such short notice.”

“You know, Hijirikawa,” Ren says. “You’re twenty-five.”

“And Mai is fourteen!”

“Which means she needs an adult guardian, which conveniently, you are,” Ren points out. “Come on. You really want to spend another three weeks here?”

“That’s not important,” Masato says.

“Yes it is,” says Mai. “Brother, I think we should go with Ren.”

Masato groans. “You’re both ridiculous,” he snaps. “Fine! We will go and ask Father, and he’ll put a stop to this nonsense.”

“And if he doesn’t?” Ren asks.

“Then we’ll go with you,” Masato says. “Fine. Now come on.”

Ren gloats all the way to the airport hotel.

It had been their mother who had allowed it. Masaomi had tried to argue against it, and Ren had been ready to wear him down, but their mother had insisted.

“I think it’s a good idea,” she had said. “It would be nice for Masato and Mai to go on holiday together. They’ve never had the chance to.”

“Yui, darling,” Masaomi had grit out. “You don’t think Masato should spend the holiday with his family?”

Yui had smiled placatingly at him. “He’s already visited,” she said. “He’s done all his filial duties. I think he deserves some time to himself, with his friend.”

She had given Masato Mai’s passport, and patted Mai’s head gently.

“Don’t bother them too much,” she had said. “It’s very kind of Jinguji to take you on holiday.”

Ren had shaken his head at Mai where Yui couldn’t see and winked, and Mai had nodded obediently to her mother and agreed.

“Thank you, Mother,” she had said. “I’ll call every day.”

“Good girl,” Yui had said. “Go pack your bags.”

Mai had left, and Yui turned to Masato. “You too, dear,” she said. “I know you haven’t packed yet.”

Masato mumbled something and nodded, and Ren had been about to go with him when Yui caught his arm.

“A moment please, Jinguji,” she’d said. Masato had glanced at them, worried, but Yui had waved him away.

“You will look after my children,” she tells him.

“Of course,” Ren promises.

She sighs, and her hand on his arm goes slack. She’s small, like Mai is, and her hands are light and gentle. “You don’t want him to stay here,” she says. It’s not an accusation.

“No,” Ren says, soft. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” she says. “Make sure he rests. He’s so eager to overwork himself.”

“I’ll do my best,” Ren promises. “He’s sensible. He knows to take care of himself.”

It had been a struggle for all of them, to learn when to slow down. Tokiya had been the worst, but Masato wasn’t far behind.

“Good,” Yui had said. “Look after yourself, too. And thank you for what you have done for my son.”

She bows to him, and Ren shakes his head and bows deeper. “Masato has done a lot for me,” he says. “I don’t want thanks for this.”

She smiles at him. “Alright,” she says. “Then, enjoy your holiday.”

She leaves him there, and he stares after her for a moment. She’s nothing like either of her children. For a moment Ren wonders if his life might have been different if she was not so prone to illness. Perhaps Masato would have been treated more gently. Perhaps she would have allowed them to remain friends, even when his father had discouraged it.

Ren shakes the thoughts away. They’re useless speculation. He will never know what might have happened, and he would never have ended up where he is.

He turns to find Masato, and to collect his own suitcase.

“We’re going to Tokyo,” Ren announces in the car. Masato’s mother had offered to lend Ren they keys to one, and Masaomi could hardly have rescinded her offer. “It’s quicker.”

“It’s quicker to drive all the way to Tokyo to get a flight to Italy?” Masato asks, incredulous.

“Yes,” Ren insists. “Otherwise we’d have to get two or three flights.”

Masato doesn’t look convinced. Mai is delighted.

“Road trip!” she sings. “Ren, brother, put on some music! We can do karaoke!”

Ren sniggers. “Go on, Hijirikawa. Put on some music.”

Masato hits him. Mai laughs in the back.

“We’ll stop and get some snacks before we get on the expressway,” Ren says. “Oh come on, it doesn’t have to be our music.”

“No, it does,” Mai insists. “Please Ren!”

“I can’t use my phone while I’m driving,” Ren tells her. “You’ve got to convince Hijirikawa for that.”

Mai appears to be kicking the back of Masato’s chair. “Please, brother!” she says. “It’ll be fun!”

Masato sighs. Ren can see him lining up a playlist of idol music on his phone, even as he grumbles.

Masato makes a visible effort not to fall asleep in the car. He hasn’t been sleeping, Ren knows, and the marks under his eyes have progressed from flat shadows to sagging bruises.

“Our flight’s at three,” Ren says.

Mai looks at her phone and frowns. “In twenty minutes?” she asks.

Ren grimaces. “In twelve hours,” he says. “We’ve got a lot of time to kill. Let’s put our luggage away, and then we can figure out what to do.”

“We should sleep,” Masato says. “If we’re going to be travelling so late.”

“Maybe,” Ren says, neutral. “I’d rather not be awake through the flight though. Do I need to leave this car anywhere in particular?” he asks.

Masato blinks at the change of subject. “No. I’ll email the Tokyo branch and let them know where the car is.”

“Thanks,” Ren says. “Right, okay. The hotel is the Seasons.”

Masato narrows his eyes at him. “Is it?” he asks. He’s clearly biting his tongue for Mai’s sake.

“Yeah,” Ren says, cheerful. “We’ll leave the keys at the reception.”

They’re in Tokyo now, near enough to the airport that a taxi there is feasible. He pulls up to the kerb and hands the keys to a valet.

“Room 401,” Ren tells him. “Thank you.”

He strides into the lobby, ignoring Masato’s foul look. He gets their room cards from the receptionist, and herds Masato and Mai into the elevator. Masato scowls all the way to their floor, and then all the way to their rooms.

“Here you go,” Ren says, handing Mai a card. “I’m keeping the other one. Do not lose it.”

“I know!” Mai insists.

“I know you know,” Ren says. “But if I don’t tell you, you might forget and lose it anyway.”

Mai sticks her tongue out at him, and Ren sticks his out right back. Masato sighs.

“Alright, you two,” he says. “Come on. Jinguji. A moment?”

It’s not really a request. Ren grimaces at Mai where Masato can’t see. “Sure. We’ll meet out here in ten minutes.”

“Okay!” Mai says. “See you then!”

She opens her door and looks into her room. “It’s huge!” she says.

“Jinguji,” Masato says, sharply. “How much money have you spent on us?”

“A lot,” Ren says, cheerfully handing Masato his copy of their room card. “Come on. Let’s not do this here.”

They go into their room. The twin beds are enormous, and look very comfortable. Masato turns to him with his arms folded.

“You can’t just spend an unreasonable amount of money on us,” he says. He sounds like he’s trying very hard not to sound annoyed, and it’s not really working. “You are not beholden to us. We don’t need your help.”

“I know,” Ren says, neutral. “But you can want it. If you like. Or you can pay me back. Whatever.”

He himself sounds like he’s trying very hard not to care too much, and it’s not really working. Masato scowls.

“I do not like being indebted to you,” he grits out.

“Or anyone,” Ren says.

“Or anyone,” Masato allows. “Bringing my sister into this is another matter.”

“Hijirikawa,” Ren says. “I’m not trying to indebt you to me. I just want to make things a little easier. Pretend it’s for selfish reasons if you’d like.”

Masato scowls at him. “You mean this isn’t some kind of ego trip?”

Ren snorts. “My ego couldn’t stand taking you on as a charity case,” he says. “Just let something nice happen for your sister. You can keep a log of every expense you incur and pay it back to me if it would make you feel better.”

Masato narrows his eyes. “I will keep a log of the two of us,” he says. “Starting with these rooms. How much did they cost?”

Ren groans. “At least let me pay for your sister!” he says.

“I will do no such thing!” Masato snaps. “I will not be in your debt!”

“I’m not trying to – look,” Ren says. “I’ll pay for me. You pay for you. We’ll split the cost of stuff for Mai.”

“She isn’t your sister,” Masato snaps.

 _She could have been,_ Ren thinks. _If we’d been better._

“Do you have to be such an asshole about everything?!” Ren snaps. “I know she’s not my sister! I just want to do something nice for her!” He forces himself to calm down. He’s tired, they’re both tired, and they have a propensity to overreact to each other anyway. He wouldn’t do this with anyone else. “Okay. Okay, I’m overstepping. I’m sorry. You can pay for her flight and her room, if you’d like. But I’m happy to pay for some things. Meals and stuff. Don’t keep tabs on every little thing she does just to settle some kind of debt between us.”

Masato glares. “She’s my responsibility,” he mutters, sullen.

“Yes, yes,” Ren agrees. “Obviously she’s your responsibility, big brother. But I like the kid. Let me at least buy her souvenirs.”

“Fine,” Masato snaps. “But I will be paying for her flight, and her room. Forward me the information now.”

Ren sighs. “Jeez. Take a nap,” he mutters. “I’ll send you the info, don’t worry about it.”

There’s a knock on the door, and Ren opens it to see another valet stood there.

“Your luggage, sir,” he says.

“Thanks,” Ren says. “Yeah, just leave it here.”

He steps back to make room for the three suitcases, and thanks the valet.

“I’ll take this to Mai,” he says, picking up her suitcase. “You go wash your face or something.”

He’s out of the door before they can start arguing again. The door clicks shut behind him, and he hadn’t realised exactly how tense he was until it collapses out of him and leaves him feeling like jelly.

“Hijirikawa,” he mutters, almost a curse really, and knocks on Mai’s door. “Mai?” he calls.

Mai opens her door a moment later. “You’re early,” she accuses. “But I’m bored anyway. What’s up?”

“Your suitcase, my lady,” Ren says, bowing to it and her. Mai snickers.

“Thanks,” she says. “Is brother in your room?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Ren says. “Shall we go get him?”

Mai nods. They cross the hallway to Masato and Ren’s room, but when Ren goes in, Masato is splayed out on one of the beds and clearly fast asleep.

Ren is stupidly in love with this infuriating man. He crosses the room to draw the curtains, and gently pulls a sheet up to cover him. He’s wearing light clothes for the summer heat, and his shoes are by the door, so he’ll be fine to sleep in his clothes for a while.

He leaves the room and puts a finger to his lips to Mai. “He’s asleep,” he says. “I don’t want to wake him.”

Mai nods. “He’s been tired,” she says. “Is he okay?”

Ren snorts. “There is nothing in the world your brother can’t recover from,” he says. “He’ll be fine. He just needs a nap. I’ll text him wherever we end up.”

Mai blinks up at him, round purple eyes mischievous. “I saw a sign for an arcade down the road,” she says.

“That,” Ren says, grinning. “Is a fantastic idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> horrible goblin child and her horrible goblin uncle


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Italy, at last.

Masato finds them in the arcade, where Ren is being thoroughly trashed at a shooting game. The sparkly graphics and bouncy music don’t really disguise how vicious the game is, and Mai is several thousand points ahead of him.

“Jinguji,” Masato says, pinched around the eyes. “What are you doing.”

It’s a flat statement because it’s pretty obvious what Ren is doing – Ren turns to him a moment after the bubbly music indicating the end of the round flares.

“Mai is so good at these!” he says. “Here, I won you this.”

He picks up one of a pile of large stuffed animals and pushes it into Masato’s hands. Masato stares at the bunny warily.

“Only one?” Mai asks, affronted. “What about the others?”

Ren bends over to pick up the other three stuffed animals. “No way! This one is mine, and I have to give the Piyo-chan to Shinomi.”

“And the other one?” Masato asks despite himself. Mai plucks the smallest rabbit from Ren’s arms.

“Mine!” she chirps.

Masato sighs. “Are we done here?” he asks.

“Yep!” Mai says. “Can we get dinner soon?”

Masato narrows his eyes at her as she turns to pick up a frankly enormous bag of candy, and a small army of phone charm figurines.

“Jinguji,” he grits out. He doesn’t seem to know what to say.

“Once in a while is fine, isn’t it?” Ren says breezily. “What do you want for dinner?”

They get ramen at a tiny shop, at Mai’s suggestion. Ren hadn’t cared at all what they ate, and Masato was loathe to tell Mai no to anything, even after she’d apparently spent all afternoon at an arcade eating sweets.

“What’s the plan?” Mai asks.

“We’ll head to the hotel and get a couple of hours of sleep,” Ren tells her. “We’ll leave about twelve. That should give us loads of time to get through security, and we’ll arrive in Rome early in the morning.”

Masato finishes his noodles and nods. “That sounds reasonable,” he says. “What from there?”

“I’ve hired a car,” Ren says. “It’s a couple of hours drive to the villa.”

It is at this exact moment that Ren remembers a couple of details about the villa that he had previously forgotten. He decides that he will not share them just yet. It’s been a long day. They’re tired. Masato will not take it well. He ignores the voice that’s telling him Masato will take it worse after fifteen hours on a plane and presses on.

“We should get to the villa for lunchtime, so we can go out for lunch and then rest for the afternoon. It’s not much of a tourist town, but the train station is fairly well connected and there’s a beach about twenty minutes’ walk away.”

“Will we stand out?” Masato asks.

“Yeah,” Ren says breezily. “But they won’t care about us, unless we’re obnoxious.”

“You are always obnoxious,” Masato mutters. Ren snickers.

“I could say the same of you,” he says. “Anyway. Most places you’ll have heard of are a few hours away by train, so you can go pretty much everywhere.”

“I see,” Masato says.

“Anyway,” Ren says, pulling out his wallet. “We really ought to head back to the hotel.”

Masato literally smacks the wallet out of his hands. “I’m paying,” he snaps, and gets up before Ren can argue. Ren is entirely unable to react until Mai starts laughing.

“He’s in a mood today,” Ren laments. “Why can’t I just be nice to him? For once?”

Mai giggles. “You’re too nice to him,” she says. “He’s so mean with you!”

Ren rubs his neck. “He’s not,” he mumbles, protesting. “He’s usually – well, honestly, usually I’m not this nice. He’s probably embarrassed.”

Mai leans into him, jabbing at him with her elbow for just a moment. “I hope you’re treating him well,” she says. “I can and will change my mind about you.”

“It’s not – Mai,” Ren sighs. “Your brother and I have always had a complicated relationship. It’s not simply a matter of ‘treating each other well.’”

Mai looks at him, pretending not to be suspicious. “So you treat each other badly?” she asks.

“No!” Ren says. “No, it’s not like that. It’s just complicated.”

Mai looks extremely confused, but Masato returns before she can ask any more questions, and she clearly isn’t going to ask him about this with him here.

“Hotel,” Masato says. “We can try and get some rest before the flight.”

“Okay,” Ren says, standing and stretching. He sees Masato watching him in a mirror the restaurant has hung on the wall, but when he turns to question him, he’s already looking away.

“Have either of you packed a carry-on bag?” he’s asking, and he’s already sighing before either of them can answer. “Of course not. Come on, hurry up. You’re not going to get any rest at this rate.”

He shoos them out of the door, scolding them all the while. He’s still carrying the bunny plush that Ren had thrust into his hands earlier, so he makes for an entertaining picture. Ren fights back giggles the whole way to the hotel. His own bunny plush is slightly smaller than Masato’s, and it has an orange ribbon around its neck. Masato of course got the one with the blue ribbon.

They get back to the hotel, and Masato terrorises Mai into promising to go to bed as soon as she had finished packing her bag.

“I’m afraid he’s right,” Ren says when she looks to him for help. “I can only condone so much irresponsibility. Plus, we’re rooming together and he’s going to make me go to bed early, so you have to too.”

Mai sighs. “I can sleep on the plane?” she tries.

Masato grimaces. “Please just get some rest, Mai,” he says. “I know this is a strange place, but it will be a very long time before you get to sleep in a bed again. You will feel better if you have had any sleep at all.”

“Alright, brother,” she says. “I’ll sleep.”

“Good girl,” Masato says. “Set an alarm for half eleven. We’ll knock on your door at twelve.”

“Goodnight brother,” she says. “Goodnight, Ren.”

Ren waves gently. “Sleep well, Mai,” he says.

She closes her door, and Ren goes to unlock his and Masato’s door. The key card beeps softly as he swipes it.

He dumps his bunny and Natsuki’s Piyo-chan on his bed, and begins pulling things out of his suitcase before Masato can start lecturing him.

Masato gently places his own bunny on the bed he’d been sleeping on earlier, and turns to Ren. He doesn’t seem to know what to say, though.

“I’m not going to make a habit of it,” Ren says.

“What?” Masato is seemingly blindsided.

“Taking Mai to arcades,” Ren says. “Isn’t that what you were going to say? Not that Italy has arcades. But you know. I’m not going to spoil her,” he drones. “This was a one off thing.”

“Oh,” Masato says. “Good, I suppose.”

Ren groans and drags a hand over his face. “What is it, Hijirikawa?” he asks. “What’s wrong?”

Masato’s hands flex. “I don’t – I still don’t understand,” he manages.

Ren barks a laugh. “You really don’t think very highly of me,” he says. It stings, but he deserves Masato’s suspicion. “Look, it’s not – are you going to make me spell it out? You’ll get angry if I spell it out.”

“Indulge me,” Masato orders. Ren sighs.

“I don’t like your family,” he says. “I don’t like your father, or your cousins, or your uncles. Your sister is a good kid, and I don’t know what to say about your mother, but I don’t want you around the rest of them because I don’t think you can take it. Not for three weeks. They’ll bully you into staying there, and – we need you. All of us need you.”

Masato doesn’t answer for a long moment. Ren is right, about all of it, but Masato is prideful to the point of spite. When it comes to him.

“I understand,” Masato says slowly. “I am going to shower now. We are not going to talk about this.”

Ren’s stomach twists uncomfortably. “That’s fine by me,” he says.

Masato’s alarm goes off at eleven-thirty, and they collect Mai at three minutes to midnight. The airport is a fifteen minute taxi ride away, and once they’ve checked their luggage in and trailed through the security gates, they have nearly an hour to kill.

Masato pulls out a book. Mai gets out her phone, and Ren eyes the 24-hour coffee shops longingly but decides against it. He is at least going to try and sleep on the plane.

He tries reading over Masato’s shoulder, but the book is unreadably boring and he ends up dozing off on Masato’s shoulder. Masato nudges him awake when the speakers announce that their flight is boarding.

“Sure you don’t want coffee?” Masato asks dryly.

“I’m sure,” Ren says, yawning. “Wow, it’s been so long since I went to Italy, I might even like the coffee now.”

“Have you not had coffee in Italy before?” Masato asks. Ren shakes his head, cracking his neck.

“I was last there when I was… fourteen?” He thinks he was fourteen. It’s definitely been over a decade. “The coffee was way too strong. Icchi gets beans from Italy sometimes though.”

“I will bring him some back,” Masato decides. Ren laughs.

“Yeah, he’ll like that,” he says. Mai stumbles along, zombie-like between them, phone clutched in her hands and sensible backpack drawn too high on her back because it’s overstuffed.

Ren vaguely remembers getting to his seat, buckling himself in, and then there’s nothing.

He wakes up with his head on Masato’s shoulder. “Ugh,” he says.

“Shush,” Mai says. “Don’t wake him up.”

“Won’t,” Ren mumbles. Masato has fallen asleep on him – his head is resting against Ren’s. Ren can hear him breathing, soft and steady.

“S’time?” he grunts at Mai. Mai glances at the clock on the screen in the back of the chair in front of her.

“It’s eight-fourteen in Japan,” she says. “We’ve got seven hours left.”

“Thanks,” Ren mumbles. He thinks he might try and go back to sleep.

The flight is eventually over. Ren gets a coffee as soon as they get their luggage back, and then he immediately buys another one and makes Masato hold it while he drinks the first one.

“I’m driving!” he says when Masato tries to tell him off. “You don’t want me falling asleep at the wheel.”

“Ugh,” Mai groans. “Just give him the coffee, brother.”

Ren drinks his second coffee as they get their hire car. It’s brand new, and the seat is on the wrong side of the car, so Ren drives it around the car park four times before he dares to take it out on the road.

Mai passes out in the back seat about thirty seconds into the drive. Masato makes a valiant effort to stay awake but dozes off against the window, so Ren turns on the radio softly and tunes it into a talk station. The rapid-fire Italian starts to make sense as he gets used to it, and by the time they’re at the villa most of his knowledge has come back.

He stops the car to open the gate to the small driveway, and Masato and Mai are both awake when he gets back into the car.

“We’re here,” Ren says. “Let me just park.”

Mai is out of the car even before he’s cut the engine, and Masato follows too, stretching in the mid-morning sun. Ren looks away and goes to close the gate to the driveway before finding the keys for the villa.

They lug their suitcases into the house. It’s exactly as Ren remembers once he pushes open the wooden shutters and lets the light in. It’s bright and airy, a cold tile floor and two pale sofas in the living area. The kitchen is small but well-equipped.

“Mai, you can have the bedroom on the ground floor,” Ren calls. Mai nods from where she’s lying face-down on one of the sofas.

“Okay,” she says, muffled.

“Hijirikawa,” Ren mutters. “The other bedroom is upstairs.”

Masato raises his eyebrows. “Other bedroom?” he asks. “Singular?”

“Yep,” Ren admits. “Shall we go get something to eat before we rest?”

Masato sighs. “Sure,” he says. “Let’s take our suitcases upstairs first.”

Ren grimaces as Masato goes to climb the stairs. His expression upon returning is almost unreadable, but Ren can see incredulity and irritation warring with amusement.

“Sorry,” Ren mutters. “I forgot.”

“At least it’s big,” Masato sighs. “I suppose it’s no different from sharing a futon.”

They’ve done that often enough, Ren supposes. He carries his own suitcase up the narrow staircase and into the bedroom there. The bathroom is on their floor too, white marble and silver fittings.

He drops his suitcase next to Masato’s. The bed is huge, he supposes. It won’t be that bad sharing with Masato.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED
> 
> hoo boy this one did not want to be written


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tourism, of a sort.

The first day passes in a strange, jet-lagged haze. After they’ve unpacked, at least cursorily, they drift into the village for lunch. The village is fairly small, and not really geared towards tourists. It’s why Ren’s parents bought it, he seems to remember.

They find a little shop that sells Greek food, so they get wraps for lunch, before wandering down to the beach.

“It’s a beach,” Masato says. He’s swaying where he stands.

“Yep,” Ren agrees.

They go back to the villa, and agree to take a nap before dinner, if only to improve the standard of conversation. Ren falls asleep in seconds, even though Masato is so close he can literally smell the shampoo he used just moments before. It makes him dizzy. He changes into a tshirt and boxers to sleep, though they chafe against his skin.

They wake late for dinner, so the sun is setting as they head back into the village. The Greek place they had lunch at also served dinner, so they eat there.

“We should get some basic supplies,” Ren mumbles. “Eggs. I don’t know.”

The three of them stumble around the neon-lit aisles familiar to every convenience store in the world, and pick up a carton of eggs, a bottle of orange juice, and some tomatoes.

All three of them immediately go to bed as soon as they get back to the villa, dazed and exhausted. Ren falls asleep with a giddy lightness in his stomach, at having Masato beside him and at having Mai in the room downstairs, so far from their father and with him.

The next three days follow a similar pattern, though the strange feeling of being jetlagged passes fairly soon. Masato wakes earlier than Ren, and he’s usually back from the village by the time Ren is up. He’s apparently on very good terms with the clerk at the bakery despite them only being able to communicate with broken English and enthusiastic gestures.

Masato gets an entire loaf of bread every day, despite the impracticality, and several of the pastries. Ren cannot bring himself to tell him off for so flagrantly ignoring their diets, because the bread is really very good and because his eyes light up so brightly when he talks about it. They have it with eggs, or cured meat and cheese, and it’s so unlike anything they would have in Japan that the novelty doesn’t wear off.

They eat their breakfast and wander down to the beach, where there are always a few local children playing, and swim for a while. Ren had had to buy a swimming costume, because the only things he’s brought from Japan are the things that came on tour with him.

“I miss my computer,” he laments to Masato one day. Masato sighs.

“Woe betide you,” he deadpans.

Ren flops across the towels they’ve laid out. “Don’t worry about me. Go on without me, if you must.”

Masato sighs. “Put on more sunscreen,” he says. “You’re going to get burned.”

Ren accepts the bottle. “Is it time for lunch yet?” he asks. ‘Lunch’ is usually just an ice cream from the village gelateria, because they always have so much bread left over from breakfast that it’d be a waste not to have sandwiches for lunch. Around two in the afternoon they nap for a couple of hours, all the windows shuttered against the heat and fans whirring overhead.

The naps are actually practical – it had taken Ren a full half-hour to convince Masato that he isn’t joking when he says the town will close until about five in the evening. It’s way too hot for them to stay awake for the hours after midday, and everywhere opens until two or three in the morning, so this way they’re rested for it.

Mai adjusts faster than Masato to the new schedule, or perhaps it’s just that she’s fourteen and will take any excuse to stay up past midnight and run with it. Masato firmly reminds her that this is just a holiday thing, and she tells him to stop being a killjoy.

They bicker a lot, despite their obvious devotion to each other. Ren worries that they might not actually get along, but it becomes apparent that Mai just likes to needle him, and they do actually enjoy each other’s company. Ren can’t fault her – Masato’s reactions can be hilarious.

After they wake, Ren will drive them to the nearest town, which is a little further down the coast. It’s much larger, and has far more choices for dinner. There’s even a fusion ‘Asian’ place, which serves sub-par soba but their steamed buns are pretty good.

“You’re going to turn into a piece of bread one day,” Ren teases.

“That is a risk I am willing to take,” Masato tells him. They’re sat on the low wall between the beach and road, watching the black of the sea and the moon’s reflection. “I think we should avoid that place from now on.”

Ren laughs. “We can do that,” he says. “There’s loads of places left to try, anyway.”

“I liked the look of the Turkish one,” Mai chips in. “It smelled good.”

“Excellent suggestion,” Ren says. “Come on. We ought to get back home.”

His stands and stretches. They’d tried some of the sake at the fusion place, and it had been pretty underwhelming but not so bad that they hadn’t finished their bottle.

“Are you alright to drive now?” Masato asks.

“Was always alright,” Ren tells him. “But yes, I’m fine.”

They walk back to the car. It’s twenty minutes in the car back to the villa, and Mai dozes off in the back despite insisting she hadn’t been tired. She wakes as the car stops, and Masato kisses her forehead before she goes to bed.

“I think we should visit some of the more common tourist destinations,” Masato says. Ren hums with agreement before it really hits him.

“Oh, right. Yeah, I guess that’s cool,” Ren says. “Do you need a lift anywhere? Honestly, you’re probably best off getting the train if you want to cross the country.”

Masato’s voice had a frown in it when he answers. “You don’t want to come? Ah, you mentioned you had events to attend. I assume that was here.”

It takes Ren a moment to remember what Masato’s even talking about, and then he has to scrabble to check the date. It’s the seventeenth.

“I’d totally forgotten about the show,” he groans. “Yeah, I’ll have to be in Milan for the 23rd, but it’ll only few a couple hours to get there, unless we go really south.”

“What are you doing in Milan?” Masato asks.

Ren rolls his shoulders before picking up his hairbrush. “My brother’s got a share in a clothes company,” he says. “There’s a show he wanted me to show my face at, so I’m going to drink all their champagne and leave.”

Masato snorts. “You start dancing on tables after your second glass,” he says dryly. “I see. So will you come to Rome with us? I think we will go there, and then to Naples.”

“Go to Naples first, it’s closer,” Ren tells him. “You’ll want a couple of days in Rome though, if you want to see all the ruins. Hotels will cost a fortune this late.”

They lock eyes, and dive for their respective phones. “Don’t you dare!” Masato shouts.

“Don’t _you_ dare!” Ren yelps, typing as quickly as he can. “You keep sending me money, it’s definitely my turn to pay!”

“Done!” Masato shouts. Mai appears in their doorway.

“Why are you yelling?” she asks. They freeze.

“We’re booking hotels for Rome,” Masato says through his teeth, still typing furiously. “Jinguji is not paying.”

“You’re the worst,” Ren mutters.

“I have also booked a hotel in Naples for tomorrow night. If we leave early tomorrow morning, we can visit Pompeii tomorrow afternoon, and spend the day after in Naples.”

“Then to Rome,” Ren says. “Yeah, makes sense. It’s probably better to take the train though. The car'll be a nuisance in the cities, and we won’t be carrying much.”

Mai stares at them. “Tomorrow?” she asks.

Masato blinks. “Do you not want to?” he asks. “Oh, we didn’t even ask you, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not that,” Mai says. “It’s just weird for you to make an impulse decision.”

Masato, inexplicably, blushes. “We are a long way from Japan,” he says. “It would be silly not to see as much as we can, and we haven’t made any plans yet.”

“Yeah,” Mai says. “Yeah, okay.” She’s grinning. “This sounds fun!”

“Set your alarm,” Masato tells her. “We need to pack.”

“Okay!” she says. All traces of tiredness have been erased from her previously exhausted state, which does not bode well for her sleeping tonight, but Ren can’t fault her. He’s excited too.

The next morning, they each pack a rucksack, and set off. They get the bus from the village to town to catch their train. Ren had managed to pay for that.

Pompeii is old and hot and dusty. Ren has more fun watching Masato than looking at the relics. Mai also grows bored fast, and they eventually leave for Naples.

Naples is more interesting, at least to Ren. They get dinner and go to a bar until they have to leave, because Mai is too young to be there past a certain time.

“Bedtime,” Ren yawns. They hadn’t managed to take a nap today, so it’s barely ten but he’s already exhausted.

“Bedtime,” Masato agrees. Mai droops between them, tired too.

Masato had booked two rooms, both with twin beds. Ren tries to pretend he can’t sleep because of the noise, and because the room is too cold, and because he’s too tired. He does not convince himself.

Masato has an art gallery he wants to visit in the morning, so they do that before getting lunch. They get pizza from a shop that claims to be the best in the world, and it is pretty good.

“Come on Masato, it’s just another kind of bread,” Ren wheedles. “What do you have against pizza?”

“The cheese.” Masato wrinkles his nose. “It’s too much cheese.”

“Yeah okay, that’s fair,” Ren says, and asks the man behind the counter for a slice with less cheese.

“Some cheese,” he says in Italian. “But not much. My friend does not like it.”

Masato enjoys his moderated pizza much more than he’d thought he would. They head down to the marina to see the boats and docks. They visit another museum and get ice cream as they head back to the train station.

“When’s our train?” Masato asks.

“Five seventeen,” Ren says. “But they’re usually late. Don’t stress about it.”

The train is late. They arrive in Rome and check into their hotel – also two rooms with two twin beds each – and head out to see the city.

They get on a tour bus with an open roof and listen to a man speak, first in rapid-fire Italian and then in heavily-accented English, about the landmarks they’re passing. Ren quietly translates for Masato and Mai when the English goes too fast for them. They get off at a cathedral and go inside to look at the art on the ceiling, and by then it’s late enough that all the restaurants are open and in full-swing, so they sit down for dinner.

“I’m glad we did this,” Masato says. He’s had two glasses of wine and he’s slightly flushed, and Ren adores him. “It’s been fun.”

“That’s good,” Ren says, quietly. Mai takes a picture of them. She’s taken a lot of pictures, though she won’t let Ren see most of them despite his eagerness to.

“Yeah,” Masato murmurs. “I’m happy you’re enjoying it too.”

Ren smiles. “Come on, lightweight. Time to get you to bed.”

“I’m not drunk,” Masato protests. “I am a little tipsy. I’m sorry if my being happy offends you.”

Ren grins. “Yup, that’s totally it. Come on. We’ve paid, time to go.”

Ren falls asleep as soon as his head hits his pillow this time, the combination of two days of travelling and poor sleep the night before knocking him out fast.

He wakes just a moment after Masato. Masato is sat up in bed, blinking and squinting at the morning sunlight streaming in through the gaps in the curtains. His hair is messy.

“Cute,” Ren mumbles, and Masato turns to him.

“Huh?” he asks.

“Didn’t say anything,” Ren says. “What’s on the agenda for today?”

“The Coliseum,” Masato says. “The Steps of Saint Basilica. The Sistine Chapel, the Vatican, the--.”

“Okay, okay,” Ren groans. “You planned today out. Okay, I’m happy to come wherever.”

“Are you sure?” Masato asks. “There are a lot of museums.”

“I like museums,” Ren says. “In small doses. You’re not going to be there for hours, are you?”

“No,” Masato admits. “Come on. Let’s go get Mai.”

They collect Mai and eat a hasty breakfast, and then they start Masato’s self-guided tour of Rome. Ren vaguely remembers going to some of these places before – the Pantheon, the Coliseum – but it was a long time ago.

Mai takes pictures of everything with her phone, and spends the bus rides between attractions organising them into folders. She begrudgingly lets Ren look at some of them.

“These are very nice,” Ren says. “I might ask you to send me some of these.”

Mai looks at him suspiciously. “Really?” she asks.

“Yes,” Masato says, without looking up from his phone. “He collects photo albums.”

“Really, they’re good pictures,” Ren says. “I like them.”

Mai is embarrassedly pleased, in a very teenage way. Ren has to fight not to pat her head.

They get off the bus and visit another church, this one by a square with a huge, ancient fountain. They flick coins into the fountain and make wishes to the god at its centre. They walk down the steps of Saint Basilica to see the strange, boat-shaped fountain at the bottom, and eventually they climb to the top of one of the peaks in the city to see the sun set.

“Look at the lights,” Mai breathes. Ren watches the sunset paint the sky orange and purple, watches the sky darken until only the electric lights of the city can be seen.

“No stars here,” Masato murmurs. “You could see them at the villa.”

“Yeah,” Ren says. “Shall we go eat?”

They eat in a tiny restaurant that’s mostly underground that serves them really good pasta before heading back to the hotel.

“You and Brother don’t go out much,” Mai says to him in a too-casual voice as they’re climbing the stairs. Masato had hurried ahead, needing to use the bathroom. “You don’t need to worry about me. I promise I’ll stay in the hotel.”

Ren laughs, startled. “No, it’s not that. Masato and I aren’t really interested in nightlife.” This is honestly true. Ren thinks it’s because of how many parties he’s been forced to attend by his family, and Masato never would have been interested in going out. “And fourteen is absolutely too young to be left without supervision at night!” he adds. “I know you’re sensible, but if anything at all happened, we’d never forgive ourselves.”

“Nothing would happen,” Mai mutters.

“I know,” Ren says. “But it’s not worth it. If we want to go drinking, we’ll take you with us.”

“You will what?” Masato asks, looking down the stairs at Ren in horror.

Ren holds his hands up. “Mai’s not allowed alcohol!” he yelps. “I’m just saying, if we wanted to visit a bar, it’d be safer if she stayed with us.”

Masato narrows his eyes. “Do you want to go out drinking?” he asks.

“No!” Ren insists. “No, I don’t!”

Mai laughs at them. “You’re ridiculous,” she tells them.

“Yes,” Masato agrees. “Come on. It’s time for all of us to be in bed. We’ve got more places to visit tomorrow morning.”

Mai climbs the last of the stairs. “Can we get ice cream for breakfast?” she asks.

“No,” says Masato firmly.

“Absolutely,” says Ren, just as firmly but slightly louder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everywhere in this chapter is real. no i will not remember what they're called or where they are in relation to each other i havent been to italy for six years


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More tourism.

“You two want to come to Milan and make this trip a little less horrible for me?” Ren asks.

Masato raises his eyebrows. “I was under the impression we were already going together,” he says. “But if you like.”

Ren kicks him lazily. “Smartass,” he says. “Milan’s pretty fancy,” he says. “Mostly designer shops.”

Masato shrugs. “I’m sure we’ll manage,” he says. He types on his phone for a moment, sticking his tongue out with concentration. Ren looks away. “There is an art museum in a cathedral,” he says. Ren sighs.

“Of course that’s what you found,” he says.

“An art museum in a cathedral sounds cool,” Mai says.

Ren groans. “You’ve betrayed me,” he says, and thunks his forehead against the little table between them. “You want to let me book a hotel this time?”

“No,” says Masato. “You can pay for train tickets,” he allows, a moment later. “If you have to.”

Ren pulls out his phone without sitting up. “When are we going?”

“Tomorrow,” Masato says. Ren picks his face off the table to glare at him.

“Day after,” Ren says.

“Fine,” Masato says. “You don’t know where that table’s been.”

Ren grimaces. He probably won’t get any weird diseases, but he shouldn’t take that risk. “I’ll shower,” he says. The train slows to a halt and they get out at their little town.

“Do you want to get dinner before we go home?” Ren asks.

Masato grimaces. “We ought to eat,” he admits.

They sit outside at a restaurant overlooking a marina and eat quietly, exhaustion having settled over the three of them after their hectic trip. They get a taxi back to the villa as soon as they’re done. Ren tips the driver double for allowing them to travel in silence, and they all fall asleep almost as soon as they get in the door.

It was a good trip.

They laze around all of the next day. Even Masato sleeps in late enough that he’s still getting ready for the day when Ren wakes up. Ren makes a muffled noise that Masato somehow translates to ‘I’ll accompany you to the village,’ so Ren joins him on his commute to the bakery.

The cashier is delighted to see Masato. Ren doesn’t offer to translate because it’s clearly not needed – their terrible English and wild gestures are enough. They leave the bakery with a fresh loaf of bread and several breakfast pastries. Ren starts on a chocolate and hazelnut croissant on the walk home and Masato tells him off for eating and walking. Ren shoves the remainder of his croissant into Masato’s mouth and laughs at his sputtering.

The three of them head to the beach as soon as Mai is awake, and spend the day there. They get slices of pizza for lunch, and head home with ice creams to nap. They get Turkish food for dinner in town, and then they go to bed, thoroughly worn out from a day of doing nothing.

Milan is nothing like the little village they’ve been staying in. It’s also nothing like Naples or even Rome – all the buildings are a hundred miles tall, and everything is gilded with luxury. Mai clearly feels out of place so Ren lets her hang off his arm until she remembers that she’s richer than most of the people here.

They check into their hotel and head out to explore. Masato insists on going to the art museum in a cathedral he’d seen online, but they don’t stay long as there were other attractions that appealed to him more. They visit another couple of museums and art galleries, and then Ren and Mai drag Masato shopping.

Ren buys Mai a pair of ridiculous sunglasses that cost more than a small car. They find a tiny boutique and buy Syo a hat, and then they get Otoya a jacket and Natsuki a bracelet, because their presents had cost much less than everyone else’s.

Ren hums and haws before deciding to send his brother a card, just to prove he is in Milan. Masato snorts at the thirty cents he spends on an extremely generic postcard.

“Postage will cost more than the card,” he says.

“I know,” Ren says, grinning, and writes _Glad you’re not here!_ in English on the card. He posts it from the newsagents he’d bought the postcard from, and then turns to them grinning.

“Okay! One last destination!” he says, brightly, and drags Masato (protesting about how late it is) and a curious Mai through a maze of backstreets until he finds what he was looking for. He does actually check the map on his phone for once, because he really can’t afford to waste too much time getting lost, though that would be more fun.

They end up in front of a tiny storefront. Ren pushes the door open and a bell chimes, and he gestures proudly.

“I found it when I was looking online last night,” he says. “Wait a moment, I’ll go talk to the owner.”

It’s a piano shop. There are piano innards strewn across surfaces everywhere, keys and wires laced into wooden struts. The sole finished piano on display is black, with a red-brown sheen, and the keys are pure, glossy and stark.

Ren rings the little bell at the counter and waits for the proprietor to appear. He explains that his friend is a pianist and would really love to play one of the pianos here. The man has a pretty grumpy face, but agrees easily enough.

“The gentleman says that if you play badly, he’ll curse your family for a dozen generations,” Ren says, cheerfully. “But you’re welcome to play.”

“Did he really say that?” Mai asks.

“Yep,” Ren says. “No pressure!”

Masato rolls his eyes and sits at the piano. The keys sing beneath his fingers. He hums along as he plays, and Ren can’t help the fond smile on his face.

“Your piano is very beautiful,” Ren murmurs to the proprietor, and he grunts.

“Your friend plays well,” he says. “I close soon. You can stay until then.”

Ren smiles. “Thank you very much,” he says. Masato doesn’t appear to hear them talking, but he does shift on the stool when Mai comes to sit with him.

“You haven’t danced with me yet,” she says.

“I will,” Masato tells her. “As soon as Ren learns to play the piano.”

Mai scowls, and Ren takes a picture of the two of them. Masato plays happily for a few minutes more, before jumping to his feet in a rush.

“Your event!” he shouts. “You idiot, you’re going to be late.”

Ren grunts. “Good,” he says. Masato gives an exasperated scowl and turns to thank the proprietor profusely before dragging Ren and Mai out of the shop.

“I’m late for an event,” Ren tells the man cheerfully. “He says your piano is wonderful, and thank you for letting him play.”

The proprietor grunts at him as Masato successfully pulls him away. It’s not that far to their hotel, and Ren is only going to be a few minutes late anyway. That’s practically early by Italian standards.

“Will you chill out,” he says, batting Masato’s hand away. “I’m a guest, not decoration.”

Masato scowls. “I wish you wouldn’t,” he says. Ren sighs.

“I know,” he says. “Alright, alright, I’m going to get changed.”

Ren gets changed and gets a taxi to the hotel the event is being held at. Mai silently takes a picture of him in his monkey suit. Masato insists they’ll be fine without a translator for an evening, and that he should have thought of that before now anyway.

The party is boring. Ren very slowly drinks his champagne - which isn’t even champagne, it’s Italian sparkling wine - because Masato is right and it does go to his head. There are a lot of placidly smiling models wearing the latest ridiculous costumes that the company have designed, and Ren really feels for them.

He recognises a few faces, and cheerfully makes conversation with some people who will report back to his brother that he did in fact show up. He eats as many of the canapes as he can reasonably sneak, and pretends to outrageously flirt with three women to make another man leave them alone.

“Sorry,” he says, once the unwanted suitor has gone. “I’ll be on my way.”

“Stay a while,” one says, tucking her hand into his elbow. “That was amusing at least.”

Ren smiles at her and allows them to use him as a human shield for the rest of the night. It turns out that two of them are dating and the third, the one with her hand in his elbow, is also gay.

He finishes his single glass of champagne and checks his watch. It’s eleven, which really isn’t late enough to leave, but he doesn’t care. He’s shown his face. He wants to go back to their hotel and see if he can annoy Masato into staying up and watching a film neither of them can understand and guessing hopelessly as to the plot.

“Leaving?” Sofia asks. She’s had her hand tucked into his elbow all evening, and had muttered in a hushed aside that some thickheaded executive’s son was trying to propose to her. Seeing her with a date would definitely help her, if he didn’t mind, really I’m very grateful. “Can I drive you somewhere?”

“I couldn’t possibly ask you to,” Ren says.

“Great,” Sofia says. “If I have to stay here another minute I’m going to pull the fire alarm and escape in the chaos.”

“In that case, I would be delighted if you could accompany me home,” Ren says. “To the door, of course. I’m a gentleman.”

“Yes, of course,” Sofia says. “And I’m sure your gentleman friend would be upset to see you with a young lady such as myself.”

Ren clicks his tongue. “You, young lady, are making quite the conjecture.”

Sofia grins at him sharply. “But you are interested.”

“That’s neither here nor there,” Ren tells her. They collect their coats from the cloakroom and head out into the warm night air. Sofia drives an extremely flashy Ferrari, and Ren climbs into the passenger seat with a grin.

“Well, give me your address,” Sofia says.

Ren gives her the hotel’s name and she whistles. “Your boy has expensive tastes,” she says. “Keep him.”

Ren rolls his eyes, ignoring the thrill at the possessive pronoun. Sofia drives like a maniac, and they’re back at the hotel in a fraction of the time it took his taxi driver to get him there.

Sofia gets out of the car with him. “Thank you, honestly. You’ve saved me some trouble, at least for a while.”

Ren bows and kisses her hand, causing her to laugh. “Thank you for a lift home,” he says. “It was far more exciting than the ride here.”

She laughs. “It was nice to meet you,” she says, and leans in to kiss his cheeks. He kisses her back, and waves as she drives away.

He goes inside, though the night air is pleasant. The party wasn’t terrible, and better yet he escaped early. He unlocks the door to their suite and goes in to find Masato and Mai watching something on Mai’s phone.

“I’m back,” Ren says.

“Ren!” Mai calls, waving him over. “Come here, come look!”

Ren heads over to the sofa, and Masato stiffens at the sight of him.

“You’ve got lipstick on your cheek,” he says, voice a little odd. He gestures at his own face.

“Damn. I’ll go wash it off,” Ren says. “Thanks.”

He goes to the ensuite off his and Masato’s room and wipes the lipstick off with a damp facecloth. It’s not really his colour anyway.

Masato and Mai’s voices are muffled from the bathroom, but he can hear them growing agitated. He washes his face properly, and is just in the process of moisturising when he hears Masato snap something angrily, to which Mai starts shouting.

“Are you two okay?” he starts.

“Of course he’s in love with you!” shouts Mai. She looks at Ren. “Here, tell him!”

Masato stares at him, frozen in place, waiting for him to deny it. And Ren would, he really would, but it would be such an obvious lie that there would be no point to it at all. The seconds tick by. Ren realises he has to do something. Ren realises he has to do something. Ren realis-

Ren bolts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :O
> 
> stay inside and wash ur hands yall next chapter will be up soon


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation, perhaps overdue.

The problem with dramatically fleeing from an awkward conversation is that it’s not very practical, and Ren doesn’t even get to the hotel lobby before he realises that he’s left his things in the hotel room and that he’s absolutely not going out at night without his phone. That would just be irresponsible.

Ren slows to a walk and leaves the hotel glumly, and decides to sit on a bench in the piazza the hotel stood on. The streetlights are bright and it’s not cold, and there are enough people around that he feels safe.

He puts his head in his hands and groans. He supposes he’s not been subtle – he bought them _plane tickets._ Mai would have to be an idiot not to see how much her brother meant to him.

He allows himself to sit there and wallow for a minute. Having Masato blissfully unaware of his feelings was wonderful, but he supposes he ought to adjust for it now. He’ll definitely want to sleep in a different bed when they get back to the villa, and there’s no hotels in the village so they’ll need to travel to the town. And then he’ll probably want Mai with him, so maybe it makes more sense for them to stay in the villa and Ren to go stay in a hotel. But Ren’s the only one of them who can drive, and he doesn’t want to trap them in the village with the unreliable bus service.

“You fool,” Masato says behind him, and drapes a coat around his shoulders. Ren automatically pulls it around him as Masato sits. “Mai is worried about you.”

“Ah, sorry,” Ren says, managing a smile. “I’ll go apologise.”

“Was she right?” Masato asks.

The smile is becoming strained. “Yeah,” Ren says. “She is.”

Ren makes to stand but Masato’s hand shoots out and catches his wrist. Ren looks down at it, blinking.

“Hijirikawa,” he starts. “Come on, we can’t stay out here all night, and if Mai is worried we should go.”

Masato hesitates. “Mai thought – she assumed we were a couple,” he says. He steels himself – Ren watches him do it, watches him straighten his shoulders and lock eyes with him. “That’s why she was upset. When you had lipstick on your face.”

Ren gapes, and then sits down to start laughing. “I’m not sure what’s worse here,” he says. “That you need your honour defending by your baby sister, or that she thinks I’d cheat on you.”

Masato smiles, and leans his shoulder into Ren’s. “I was upset,” he says. “She thought it was inappropriate that you would kiss a stranger when you won’t even kiss me in front of her.”

Ren’s face falls. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, that would sting.”

Masato’s jaw clenches. “I’m not doing this right,” he says. “My sister thought we were together because she could see how you felt about me. And she could see how I felt about you.”

Ren looks at him. Masato’s blush is hard to see under the orange of the streetlights. He meets Ren’s eyes evenly. Patient.

“How do you feel about me?” Ren asks.

Masato smiles, a fragile little thing that belies terrified eyes. “I love you,” he says. “I have loved you for a long time.”

The words ring in Ren’s ears for a long time. He sits there and looks at Masato, and Masato sits there and looks at him, and they wait for the world to stop spinning around them. When it doesn’t, Ren can only believe that this is real.

“I didn’t know,” Ren says. “I thought – I don’t know what I thought.”

“I didn’t know either,” Masato says. “I was trying not to think about it.”

Ren exhales, a long, shaky breath that’s almost a laugh. “No,” he agrees. “No, I don’t think I wanted to think about it either.”

He looks at the floor, the rest of the piazza. There are fewer people around now, straggling party-goers heading home mostly. He looks back at Masato.

“It would be dangerous,” he says, and his stomach flings itself into his throat even at the suggestion. “We couldn’t get caught.”

Masato looks sick and giddy and terrified. “Our careers wouldn’t survive,” he says.

Ren feels like he’s on a rollercoaster, like he’s balanced on a precipice, like he’s already been flung off the cliff and is waiting for the water to rush up and claim him.

“No,” Ren says. “And we’re – we’re not thinking clearly. It’s late. We’re away from it all.”

“Yeah,” Masato breathes. “We should talk about this tomorrow.”

Their faces are very close, suddenly. Ren could count Masato’s eyelashes, can see the pores on his nose even in the horrible light.

“Mai,” Ren says. “Mai is waiting. I should go apologise.”

“Yes,” Masato says, pulling away. Ren didn’t realise he could feel his warmth until it was gone. “Yes, Mai was worried.”

He stands and Ren follows, pulling on the jacket draped around him properly. They head back to their hotel room in silence. Ren’s hands are sweating.

Mai is waiting by the sofa in the main room of their suite. She’s either been pacing or she got up when she heard the door.

“Brother,” she says. “Re – Jinguji.”

Ren manages a smile for her. “Ren is fine,” he says. “If you want. Sorry for running out like that.”

Mai scowls at him defensively, and Masato sighs.

“I am going to the bathroom,” he says. “Mind your manners, Mai.”

He’s gone before Mai can get even more defensive. Ren groans and sinks into one of the chairs.

“This is not what was supposed to happen,” he says, mostly to himself. “Alright. Ask away.”

Mai chews on her lip. “You and brother like each other,” she says.

“Yes,” Ren agrees.

“But you aren’t dating,” she says.

“No,” Ren agrees.

Mai wrinkles her nose. “Why not?”

“We didn’t know,” Ren says. “I didn’t think he even liked having me around, let alone more than that. We’ve always been at each other’s throats. And we’re not sure it would be a good idea even now, because of our jobs.”

Mai nods slowly. “But you love each other,” she says.

“Yeah,” Ren sighs. “Yeah, I love him. I don’t know what’s going to happen. We’re going to talk about everything tomorrow, once we’re back at the villa. I think we should just try to enjoy the rest of this trip for now.”

Mai scowls at him. “Okay,” she mutters. “Okay, fine. I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight Mai,” Ren says. She doesn’t answer, and Masato comes out into the main room after a moment.

“Eavesdropping is rude,” Ren tells him tiredly.

“I wasn’t listening,” Masato says mildly. “I just heard Mai go to bed.”

He goes to knock on Mai’s door to tell her goodnight, before coming back to the main room. Ren looks at him, and now he’s looking for it he can see it. Masato’s gaze is soft, the way it’s always been soft. Ren doesn’t know how he missed it.

“This turned out a mess,” Ren sighs. “We’re both idiots.”

Masato huffs a laugh. “Yes,” he says. “Yes, I suppose we are.”

They go to bed. Ren has been very careful not to watch Masato change, has always been careful not to look, but now he’s hyperaware of him. The soft slide of fabric against skin, the click of his belt buckle and the muted thud of his folded clothes landing on his suitcase.

Ren pulls his sleeping clothes on with a dry mouth. He’s been sleeping in a tshirt and boxers since they started sharing a bed, and last night he hadn’t worn the tshirt but he wants it now. He doesn’t want – he doesn’t know what he doesn’t want. He doesn’t want to make this harder than it has to be.

“Goodnight,” Masato says, hesitant, once they’re in bed and the lights are off.

“’Night,” Ren says. He doesn’t sleep for a long time.

The next morning they are all exhausted. Clearly, none of them slept well, so Ren guides them to a huge piazza filled with restaurants and tourists and bustle, and they sit outside a café with cool drinks and watch life pass them by. They’re shaded from the sun by an umbrella. Masato makes a muted protest about how he had wanted to visit a fountain, but he droops in his chair as soon as he sits. Mai is hiding beneath her sunhat, the embroidered white one Masato had decorated for her.

The morning passes quietly. They get lunch at a different restaurant and manage to be a little livelier for that, and then it’s time for them to get the train back down south. Mai pointedly puts her earphones in when they get on the train, but Masato and Ren only squabble a little before lapsing into quiet.

Ren doesn’t know what’s going to happen. He doesn’t know what he hopes for. They arrive in their town and get the bus back to the village, and then traipse back home. Mai disappears into her room as soon as they arrive, and then reappears carrying her towel.

“I’m going to shower,” she announces.

Ren and Masato exchange a glance. “Will you be alright here on your own for a little while, Mai?” Masato asks. “We’re going to the beach.”

Mai nods. “Okay. I’ll be here.”

They leave her in the villa. There are a couple of oranges and some water in the fridge, so they’re not overly worried. They don’t plan on being more than an hour, anyway.

The beach is fairly empty when they get there. There are a few children playing in the shallows, so Masato and Ren sit on the dunes cresting the edge of the beach, away from the path. Their backs are to a thin forest, and ahead of them is the sea.

They sit in silence for a moment, until Ren laughs. “One of us has to start,” he says.

“I don’t know where,” Masato admits. “I – I know it would be irresponsible.”

“So reckless,” Ren says. “Stupidly reckless.”

Masato smiles. “Yes,” he agrees. “And we would have to hide. Maybe for years.”

Ren nods. “I’m not retiring any time soon,” he says.

“And I’m not retiring until you are,” Masato says. He flushes as soon as he’s said it. “That – I was never going to.”

Ren snorts. “We’d be off-balance without each other,” he says. “We always have been.”

They watch the sea for a while longer. The sun is beginning to set and the temperature is dropping, though it’s still very warm.

“We could try,” Ren says. Blurts, really. “If you want to. I want to.”

“I want to,” Masato whispers. “I want to try. Even if it doesn’t work out.”

His arm twitches, and Ren’s jerks in response, and then they lock eyes and laugh.

“Okay,” Ren says. “Let’s just – let’s just hold hands.”

They hold hands. Masato’s hand is warm, not quite uncomfortable in the late afternoon but it definitely would be in the midday heat. They lace their fingers together.

“Where are we supposed to put them?” Masato asks. Their hands hover awkwardly between them, a little above the sand, and Ren snorts. He buries his face in his knees and snickers.

“Come on,” he says. “Let’s get back to Mai. We should get drinks before dinner today.”

Masato lets go of his hand and stands up, raising his eyebrows. “To celebrate?” he asks dryly.

“Yeah,” Ren says, and holds his hand out when he’s up too. “Why not?”

Masato sighs and takes his hand. Their hands swing between them, much less awkwardly than when they were sitting.

“We still need practice,” Masato says seriously, looking at their hands.

“Practice holding hands?” Ren asks. Masato yanks his arm.

“Shut up,” he says. “You know what I mean.”

They pass a few of the people from the village on their way home, but aside from a couple of waves no one reacts to them. Ren lets go of Masato’s hand to unlock the door to the villa, and Mai comes out of her room to see them when they get back.

“You mind going for a drink before dinner?” Ren asks her. She narrows her eyes at him.

“You look happy,” she says.

“I am happy,” Ren tells her. “Is that a yes?”

Mai shrugs. “Okay,” she says.

They sit by the marina and get drinks, and once the sun has set but the sky is not yet dark they go for dinner. Nothing is different, and everything is. They fight to get the bill and walk along the seafront afterwards, and they get back to the villa just after midnight pleasantly full and very tired.

Mai looks at them sideways when they get home. “Brother. A moment please.”

Ren leaves them to it, only to hear Masato shrieking a moment later.

“Mai!” he yells.

“I need to know!” Mai shouts. “Fine, I’ll ask Ren!”

Ren grins. “We’re not going to have sex, Mai!” he shouts down the stairs. “Your room is right below ours!”

“Jinguji!” Masato shouts, loud enough to be deafening. Ren cackles loudly as he gets into the shower, and he can hear Mai laughing too.

Masato doesn’t look at him when he gets out of the shower, and Ren laughs more. “Sorry, sorry,” he says. “But it kind of is her business if she could hear.”

“She shouldn’t – you!” Masato snaps, pointing. Ren tries to hold a straight face, but dissolves a moment later.

“I’m sorry!” he gasps. “You could have just told her no!”

Masato’s face shutters. “You sound certain,” he says. Ren shrugs.

“Your baby sister is downstairs,” he points out, wrinkling his nose. “Even if either of us thought we were ready, I don’t think we’d be in the mood.”

Masato looks to be fighting for words. Ren dries his hair and waits for him to find them.

“Not because you don’t want to,” he says, eventually.

Ren swallows. “Definitely not that,” he says. “We don’t even know if this is going to last longer than this holiday. It’ll be – harder, to break things off. I think.”

“Okay,” Masato says. “Okay, if – if that’s why.”

Ren thinks, for a moment, about how he could show Masato exactly how much he wants him, but he won’t. He takes a deep, shuddering breath, and turns to smile.

“It would be a bad idea,” he says. “I’m not ready. And I don’t think you are either.”

Masato shakes his head slowly. “I’m not,” he agrees. “I – I’m going to shower,” he says, a moment later.

“Sure,” Ren says, quickly. “Hang on, let me hang my towel.”

He hangs his towel on the rail to dry, and gets into bed. He’s still wearing his tshirt to bed, and it’s not ideal but it’s a small sacrifice to make. He’s scrolling through his phone when Masato comes back into their room, sleep robes wrapped around him and hair dry.

“Are you ready to sleep?” Masato asks, and Ren nods and puts his phone away.

Masato gets into bed, but doesn’t switch his bedside lamp off. He hesitates, before turning to Ren.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks.

Ren nods. Masato’s lips are light against his. Masato’s hand cups the side of his face for a moment, and Ren’s hand comes up to rest on his chest, and then Masato pulls back and smiles at him.

Ren can’t help the smile that wells up on his face in response. “One more?” he asks.

“Greedy,” Masato says. Ren kisses him, gentle and brief and as a butterfly’s landing. “One more.”

Ren kisses him, parts his lips slightly and feels Masato’s move against his. His heart skips in his chest and he can’t help smiling.

Masato stares at him. His cheeks are pink, his eyes wide.

“We should sleep,” he manages, after a moment. Ren would be happy to sit here all night, trading chaste sweet kisses, but his eyes are heavy and sandy and his limbs are sinking into the bed.

“Yeah,” Ren says. His voice rasps embarrassingly. “Goodnight.”

Masato switches off his lamp, and the room sinks into darkness. Ren settles under the sheets, Masato’s body lying close enough to touch but he doesn’t.

“Goodnight, Ren,” Masato whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kiss. kiss!!
> 
> being in lockdown is serioisly tanking my productivity 😵 i thought this would be done sooner, sorry everyone


End file.
